Breakups. Every girl and boy on this planet has either experienced one or heard of one. Theirs face to face breakups, cyber breakups, phone breakups, breakups through friends, and mutual breakups. In my opinion, death is the worst breakup. Neither of you anticipated it, and yet it comes full force slamming into you two. You try to hold on for the other person, but you have no choice but to slip away. Years of separation, anxiety, and grief suddenly overthrow where love had once been settled in. I once experienced this myself. I would lie in bed at one am, and swear that he was sleeping right next to me. I would go to the grocery store and buy enough food for two. I would go to our favorite places and hold my hand in the air, assuring myself that he was, of course, there with me. I did eventually come out of my unfortunate state of denial, and realize that he is gone, and however you want to put it he isn't coming back in any way shape or form. Now, in secret, I talk to him. We talk about anything, or should I say I talk? I'm sure that someway, somehow, somewhere, he's still giving me the reassuring head nod, and the same dorky advice he used to. "just don't give up. You got this!"
Thinking of you
July 7, 2010