Daughter and Me

June 26, 2010
By , fortwayne, IN
Sara get out of the street. Trenton get your daughter. Sorry I am busy. Sara no! Baby speak to mommy, Speak! It has been six years Mrs.Barensen. Get over her death. It’s all my fault. Trenton hates me. I lost everything. Maybe you should talk to him. It’s hard too. Sara looked just like him. Just try. Trust your therapist. Trenton can we talk. About what? Sara. It was seven years ago. And? Why do you always bring her up? I feel like it was my entire fault. You let her out of your sight Ashley. Our baby would have been here right now. But she’s not! Are you calling me a murderer? I never said that! I am leaving, Ash. Oh and I want a divorce. Trent, please. Ashley went to her room. The beer bottle became her best friend. All of a sudden she found a picture of Sara. My baby! Then she fell asleep. She dreamt of Sara. She dreamt that Sara was jump roping and fell into Ashley’s arms. She dreamt of Trent attacking them with a water gun in the heat of summer. She saw Trent look at her with his deep blue eyes. She touches his blonde hair with one soft stroke. They were a family again. Soon she awoke. She rolled out of bed with a headache. She called Trent. Hello? Trent? Yeah? Do you really want a divorce? I don’t feel like talking about it right now. We need to. Listen Ash. I know it’s hard but, our baby is in a better place. I just need someone to talk to. Ash? Yeah? I knew you since I was five as a friend right? Yes! I think we are better as friends. So I am going to talk to my lawyer. Trent! I am so sorry Ash. Trent hung up in Ashley’s face. Ashley went crazy. She threw her phone out of a window. Sara I miss you. I miss you too Mommy. Sara? Come play with me Mommy! Let’s play princess like we use to. Sara! Mam are you okay? You were out for 3 days. I was? Yeah! Sir, your face looks so familiar. Do you drive a blue Chevy? Why yes I do! You killed my baby. Miss, it was an accident. I hate you! Ashley grabbed the sharpest object she could find. She tried to force it into him but a policeman caught her blow. What are you doing? I am getting revenge for my baby girl. This man should be arrested, officer. He killed my baby. He ruined my life. My husband hates me too. I hope you’re proud of yourself. Ms. We need you to calm down. Ha, Screw you! I’m leaving. Ashley closed her front door. Mommy she heard. I miss you. Sara! Then she heard silence. Soon her phone rang! Ashley lets go out tonight. I am sorry Kas, I can’t. Come on ever since Trent left you have been so dull. Alright! Okay. Kassie? What? This feels weird. I feel weird. I don’t want to drink tonight. Okay let’s dance. Then, all of a sudden she felt dizzy. I got to go to the bathroom. Jeez Ash, you okay. No! Ash are you pregnant? I hope I am not. Trent would hate me even more. It’s his baby too. I guess I’ll tell him. Let’s go home. Ashley picked up the phone slowly. Trent? Yes. Umm, I think I am expecting again. What are you going to do? What do you mean me it’s yours too. We can’t raise a kid like this. I am not giving it up! No Trent! This is the lowest you would go to keep me around isn’t it. I never said I wanted you around! Alright! Have the baby. Just don’t expect me to fall back in love with you! Trent, I’ll never hurt for me I will only hurt for our baby. I am leaving. Later that night Ashley felt a cool breeze. She saw a figure on the edge of her bed. Mommy! Sara, do you know that you’re dead? Mommy I want to stay with you I don’t like it up there. Sara I wish I could be with you but, no mommy I know you have a new baby and now you hate me! You always choose things over people. That’s why Dad left. Sara you know that’s not true. Soon Ashley woke up in a cold sweat. Ashley realized she needed bigger clothes. She went to Mega Mart. She saw Trent. Trent can we talk? Might as well. In two weeks I am going to find out if it’s a boy or girl. Would you like to come? Sure! Just tell me when. I will. Why are you here? Buying food. And you? Bigger clothes, as you can tell. Definitely! Hope it’s a boy. Can’t believe you’re interested. A few weeks later Ashley had her appointment. Trent, are you nervous. Nope! Alright, Ms.Nelson. Trent stated no it’s still Mrs.Barensen. Ashley smiled at Trent. Okay let’s see. It looks like it’s a boy! Trent screamed like he won the Super bowl. 9 months went fast. It was time. Trent rushed to the hospital. Ashley was in excruciating pain. She looked to her left and saw Sara looking at Trent. She looked in Trent’s icy blue eyes and saw that day. Finally, her baby came. She named it Denzel Kurado Barensen. Trent was proud the smirk on his face was priceless. But, Ashley laid in fear. Trent kept on bragging. He looks just like me. He’s like my cloan. Ashley fell asleep. Ashley put Denzel to sleep. Then she saw some broken glass. She called for Trent but, he went to the store. She felt someone standing behind her. Sara pushed her into the glass. Sara looked her deep in her eyes. Mommy you’ll never ever find a replacement. Sara stop! I was seven mother. You could have saved me but, you didn’t. I have nothing against Dad. He was my saint. But, you, you I have a problem with. Dad should’ve left you. Soon Trent walked in. Ash! Are you okay! Trent! Help! Maybe you need some time away. I am going to go to Kassie’s house. Soon Ashley’s car went out of control. She found herself in a river. Trent rushed to the hospital. Ash! It was Sara she’s evil now. You’re crazy! Of course you would think that. Her eyes make you feel guilt. Her hair wraps you in this Suffocating sheet of sickness. What happened to her? Trent screamed. You will not talk about her in that way! Trent stormed out. Ashley cried. Ashley went in the bathroom one night. She looked in the mirror and saw Sara. I finally have you Mother. Sara locked the door. Its bath time Mommy! Sara pushed her in a tub full of water. Ashley ran to Sara trying to fight her. Sara ran into Denzel’s room. Leave him alone! So this is your replacement? He looks nothing like you! He looks like father. Thank god! Hopefully he doesn’t have your attitude. Trent busted in. What is going on, Sara? I am just saying hi. Ashley took the opportunity and knocked herself and Sara out of the window. Sara was still holding the baby. Trent rushed to the phone and called 911. The cops rushed over. Sara was no where to be found. Ashley gave the baby to Trent. Her last words were take care of him. Trent Whispered I will try to live out both of our lives. I promise.





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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 3, 2010 at 8:59 pm

This was a very interesting plot line, great story, just confusing.  But excellent job.  Keep writing!

Btw, will you check out and comment on my work?

 
necnec said...
Jun. 29, 2010 at 3:38 pm

It was so confusing you have to separate it into dialogues with quotes and paragraphs. Also, slow down abit and add more detail.

Besieds that sounds like a great plot

 
waiting_to_be_found said...
Jun. 29, 2010 at 2:06 pm
That was really confusing, I couldn't follow it too well. It seemed like a good story line, but you need to be a little slower, and more detail, separate your thoughts a bit. :P
 
xHellokittyfairyx replied...
Jun. 29, 2010 at 2:39 pm
I really didn't think about it like that.Thanks! I wrote it in one day so I probably didn't consider that.Thanks again for the advice
 
sanya This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 30, 2010 at 4:44 am

yeah, if you can manage to do that, then certainly it would turn out to be a great piece. keep writing..:)

let me know what you think of my work:

http://www.teenink.com/fiction/realistic_fiction/article/225866/The-other-half/

 
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