Twisted Love

May 21, 2010
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He saw me kiss him. I had no idea he was watching, he just… was. The rules he’d lay out for me sat ignored in the deepest corners of my mind. I had let my emotions get the better of me. The wanting. The needing. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. When his lips touched mine, the world seemed to brighten. Like an explosion of love. All that built up passion, finally released when our lips joined. His hand moved up to my cheek and I shuddered with pure unadulterated joy. It was like nothing mattered but Daniel and I.

I felt a evil, white-knuckled hand clench my shoulder and twist me around, away from the safety of his body. I only had to witness my father’s horrifying expression to know I was in for it. He wasn’t angry at Daniel, he didn’t know about the rules. He was furious at me, and only me. I’ll never forget his eyes. Those invisible flames that burned at the strings of my heart. My dad pointed at the school building with a stressed finger.

“Go.” He commanded. “Now.” I felt Daniel’s eyes staring at me for only a fleeting moment, then his footsteps increasing from a jog to a sprint back indoors. I wanted him to run all the way to the east coast of the U.S. so he could be safe from the wrath of my father. His black pickup sat, sputtering in the parking lot where he’d watched the whole thing a moment before. My dorky “flirting”. The kiss I wanted so badly to return to forever. His face said it all. Get in the truck. He wrapped his grip around my long, brown pony tail and pulled me along. It hurt so badly to walk away. I knew in my heart that Danny was watching from within the school doors.

Not a word was spoken in the car ride home. Absolute silence besides the white noise of the engine and the country radio station that he hadn’t turned down all the way. The rule I had broken floated in the air.
No boys whatsoever; until I was out of the house. No kissing at all. No relationships. Nothing of the sorts. And I had just gone and shattered it without a second thought.

We pulled into the driveway and he turned toward me with that dead-serious “You’re 10 levels of dead” look that I never wanted to see. I hadn’t even seen his hand until it was inches away from me. I was sure I was going to be slapped. Beaten. Abused, like I’d often been since mom left. But what he did with that huge hand amazed me.

It stroked my face softly. Just his warm hand against my pale skin. He put his other arm around me and pulled me in and hugged me so hard I thought I’d suffocate. He put his mouth next to my ear and whispered “I love you, Maddy. So much.” I was very confused at that moment. If he loved me so much, why’d he pull me away from Daniel? Why did he ruin my first kiss?

Then it hit me like a giant billboard with a large, glittering A-HA on it. He was afraid. Afraid of losing his baby girl. Afraid of letting me go, because I was all he had in the world anymore. I wasn’t upset anymore. I wasn’t afraid. I smiled and whispered back “I love you, too, Daddy.”

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