Nothing But A G Thang

May 10, 2010
Jayqaun- A high school senior. Thinks he is a ladies’ man. He is looking for a girl to make him look even better, like Juliet.
Herbert- Looks kind of like Steve Urkle before he turns into Stefan. He is very smart and awkward. He has had a crush on Juliet since he first laid eyes on her the beginning of the year.
Juliet- She is really smart and super pretty. She is friends with everyone in the school, even teachers. She has brown skin and always wears short sleeve polo shirts and capris, kind of like Lacienega from the Proud Family cartoon.
Scene: A high school in a good neighborhood. It’s a really big school and the halls are big and white with big leafy plants placed by every window. The characters are in the hallway going to their next class. Juliet walks by Jayquan.
Jayquan: Aye shorty, what class you about to be in?
[He touches the small of her back, she smiles and moves away from his hand.]
Juliet: Hi Jayquan, I’m going to A.P. Trig.
Jayquan: [chuckling]
Oh. That’s what’s up. Speaking of numbers can I get your digits lil mama? I know you prolly too shy to ask me.
Juliet: Umm, well the bell is about to ring so I better start going before I’m late to class. You know?
Jayquan: Not really.
[Juliet giggles remembering just who she was talking to.]
Jayquan: So really, about that number…
[Suddenly Herbert accidently bumps into Juliet. He drops his books, and Juliet’s books and papers fly everywhere. His glasses fly off of his face and he drops to the ground blindly searching for them. Near them, Jayquan blows a dramatic sigh and rolls his eyes.]
Herbert: Blammy! I’m so sorry.
Jayquan: What the he-blammy? Wow.
[Juliet is on the ground helping Herbert pick everything up. She finds his glasses and puts them on his face with a friendly smile.]
Juliet: It’s okay. Really it’s nothing.
[After she puts his glasses on he realizes that this is the girl of his dreams. His mouth drops and he can’t reply.]
Juliet: Herbert right?
Herbert: Yes it is. I was named after my great-
Jayquan: How you know this fool?
Juliet: We have next hour together. Are you okay Herbert?
Herbert: I will be, my xiphoid process seems to be-
Jayquan: [Waving his hand at Herbert.] That n**** straight. Sooo… back to me-I mean us haha. Your number?
[Herbert finds his voice]
Herbert: Juliet you look ravishing this fine school day if I do say so myself. More beautiful than the reaction Magnesium makes with water and Hydrochloric acid.
Juliet: Why thank you.
[She blushes and looks down tucking her hair under her ear.]
Jayquan: Hydro what? [Looking at Herbert.] We was kinda in the middle of something… If you don’t mind Hefner.
Herbert: It’s Herbert.
Jayquan: It doesn’t matter. Look, when I need someone to do my homework I will find you okay? Buh Bye. Anyways… where were we boo?
Juliet: It’s Juliet.
Jayquan: Not for long baby, so here is a pen and you can just scribble your number on my hand and don’t worry, I don’t wash my hands, so it ain’t coming off.
[He winks at her.]
Herbert: Well I don’t want to be late for class. I must be going my fair maiden.
[He starts to walk.]
Juliet: Yeah um, me too. Bye Jayquan. Herbert wait for me!
[Herbert holds his arm out and she holds on to it and they walk away from Jayquan. He is dumbfounded and checks his breath. After smelling it he makes a disgusted face.]
Herbert: Soooo do you like Hayquan?
Jayquan: [He follows them] It’s Jayquan and I know you do.
Juliet: [laughs hard in Jayquan’s face then turns to Herbert] No… I am just his friend. For some reason he just talks to me a lot.
Herbert: I see. He has the characteristics of a Plebeian if I do say so myself.
Jayquan: Hey! I aint no Pleballoon!
Juliet: So what do you think of me Herbert?
Herbert: You? To be frank I think you are just wonderful Juliet.
Juliet: I think you are wonderful too Herbert… Would you like to…maybe…study the Quantum Theory at my house sometime?
Herbert: I don’t know Juliet…
Jayquan: We can study yo body at my house. I was talking Juliet by the way.
[Herbert looks around at other girls as they walk together in the hallway moving his arm away from hers.]
Juliet: [The sound of her voice raises at the end sounding hopeful.] Well, if you don’t want to do that we can do something else. Like solve math equations using the Pythagorean Theorem?
Herbert: I love the Pythagorean Theorem and the Quantum Theory! It’s amazing and I think you are okay too I guess…
Jayquan: Girl I think you better than okay. You straight up fly as hell!
Juliet: What’s the problem then? You like me, I like you…
Herbert: Well yeah I used to like you. The image of us actually being a couple like two doves flying in the wind was a sweet sweet dream to me. Now that YOU like ME… well… to be quite frank… it’s a… what is the term? Blammy…Oh! Got it! A turn off.
Juliet: Oh… I see… Well maybe if we just talk and get to know each other better it might happen. So can I have your number Herbert?
Jayquan: Can I get yo number Juliet!
Herbert: Don’t press your luck my fair maiden.
Juliet: Your email?
Jayquan: Oh… I forgot about that. Juliet can I get your email? Please?
Herbert: Doubt it Juliet.
Juliet: Skype?
Herbert: Nuh uh.
Juliet: Twitter?
Herbert: I dont have one.
Juliet: Facebook?
Herbert: Nope.
Juliet: Address? I can write you a letter.
Herbert: No!
[Juliet doesn’t get the hint and keeps asking for ways to communicate with Herbert. They walk into the class room just as the bell rings and Juliet is following behind Herbert with her books wrapped in her arms.]





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