Chapter one- The Coke

Coke made my world a better place. Alcohol made me feel great. And cutting let me know I really was alive.

"Kaitlynn, hurry up! We gotta get to class." Amy said to me we were outside somking and she was already done. I inhaled the last drag and dropped it to the ground before stepping on it as I walked away. I kept waliking until we reached our first period class. WE walked in after the bell rang, so we were late. Again.
"Ah, Kaitlynn, Amy. Glad you decided to come to class." Mrs anderson said when amy and I walked past her.
I rolled my eyes before looking down. "It wasn't my first choice but I came anyway." I said making Amy snort turning all the heads in the classroom towards us. I glared until every person looked away. Yeah that was right. Don't stare at the coke-snorting-alcohol-drinking cutter and her stoner friend. She'll get her drug dealer boyfriend to kick you a**. I thought.
"Okay so that last part wasn't exactly true. I am addicted to coke, cutting and of course alcohol. But I didn't need my drug dealer boyfriend to kick thier a** for two reasons. First I don't even have a boyfriend let alone a drug dealing one. Second because I could kick every single person in this rooms a**, (including the guys) with one hand tied behind my back. I could pretty much take care of myself without outside help.

After that first period the rest of the day went by in a flash. I hardly even started to realize that school was over when Amy dragged me out of my desk and told me that it was. I don't know what happened to lunch but I followed Amy out of the class anyway.

$#!*

I felt the cold powder shoot up my nose causing a near instant adrenaline rush. God, I love this feeling sometimes more that my own life. Which, I guess, is a good thing since it is possible for me to O.D. at any time. I took another line. And another and finally one more, before sitting back and looking around my garage. Everything looked so much...prettier. Even me. The too tall person with too large breast that has to glob makeup on her face just so a guy will even begin to...
Woah! Amy just flashed red while she was smoking her pot! How weird was that?
I love this feeling. Sometimes more than my own life. Oh, wait. I already said that didn't I? Well anyway, everything is so beautiful when I'm on coke. It has a different affect on me than some people I suppose. But every time I ask another addict everything is viewed the same. The world seems cheerier with random colors that seemed suddenly brighter and games that I played since I was a child seemed like they would be the most wonderful things in the world if I played them. And it's all cause by the one thing that will always be there for me.
Coke...
Just the word makes you happier. That is exactly why it will always be mine. Why I will always belong to it.
That is why I have to keep doing it. because once the high is gone, I'm back in the dark and doing the the thing that is bad. It made me feel dead because the world is so bland and dreary. I hate it and that why I sometimes do the terrible thing that I shouldn't. Sometimes it was worse than the thought of getting caught by the police.
Nothing can hurt me right now though. I'm invincible. I even have x-ray vision! I am Super Coked-Up-Alcoholic-Cutter-Girl. Yeah! I will save the world! Until bed time anyway. He-he I don't even have a bed time; but I well starting now. The thought suddenly came to mind. It was so overpowering that I just had to tell Amy to call her mom and tell her she's saying the night again.
"Why?" She asked me.
"Cause," I whined. "I'm a super hero and, and super heroes have bed times and it's almost ten o'clock, so I have to go to bed at ten thirty. 'Cause if I try to go to bed at ten, I'll be late for bed. And then I'll, um, I'll..." I trailed off as I forgot what I was talking about. Amy just laughed.
"You've had enough for tonight." She said as she took my bag of coke.
"Fine, then. Go get me a beer out of the fridge in the kitchen." I ordered at I little bit of the high left me.
"Are you insane? Your brother is home and your mom can come home at any minute."
"So? My brother won't tell he's practically in love with you, and my mom doesn't get home 'till about bidnight. So go get me a beer." I said sternly.
"Fine. I'll be back in a minute." Amy walked towards the door connecting the house and garage. Well not exactly connecting it but was the basic pathway from the garage to my house. If, that makes any sense at all.
"Oh, and when you get back, call your mom and tell her you're gonna stay the night." I reminded her.
When she returned with my beer, she pulled out her cell phone and called her mom. When all the arrangements with Amy's mom were made and I was done with the lone beer she gave me, we went into the house and up the stairs to my room. by this time, my coke high was long gone and, as soon as I was in my room, the darkness consumed me.
"I'm gonna go take a shower, okay?" I weakly growled over to amy. She noticed the panic in my voice. Imediatly she was asking me if I was okay.
"No." I whespered. "It's happening again." She knew what I was talking about and I saw her glance down at my left arm that was constantly covered by an arm warmer.
"Don't Katie. Stay in here. You know you don't need that. Come on. Sit with me." She said to me. I nodded and trudged over to the bed, where Amy sat.
Silence wrapped its wings around us. Amy started playing with my hair as I laid my head on her lap. My eyes drifted closed just as tears started to pour from them.