A Day On The Job

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Oh no, there goes his glasses! Poor kid can’t even see now. Who would push him over? Of course the stupid jock kid, that was just rude. And what’s a football jock doing at the zoo on a Saturday in the first place? I can see the one kid, but a letter jacket wearing bully? Kid almost lost those black framed, badge-of- a- nerd glasses. Just a little more to the left buddy, you are right on it. Finally, Polar –bear- lover got his glasses. Oh, but there cracked down the middle, tough break. Ha I crack myself up! Oh that’s a good one, and Mom said I’ve never had a good sense of humor Hey at least he brought some tape, that’s one prepared teenager. Wait, now that I’m lookin’ at him, I think I have seen that kid. He’s the Donald…? No…Ronny? No, no...It’s uh…Ronald! That’s it, Ronald Smitty or something. He’s the one that asked me if he could become a volunteer zookeeper. I sent him to Cheryl at the front desk. Now he’s back again, for the third time this week. Not doing any wrong, just wearing that stupid polar bears t-shirt and taking pictures of the creatures. Constantly, snapping, snapping, and snapping. Well at any rate, I’m off to feed those pitiful flightless birds, the penguins.
LATER
Ah lunch, the best time of my day at this dump. Since today is a Saturday, might as well treat myself to a piece of pizza at Polar Bear Pizza. Oh there’s the kid again, talking to some other nerd. Hey at least he has got some company. Wow, long line today…
“Oh hello, yes Mr. Smitty. I am the Zoo keeper you talked to.”
“It’s an honor sir, what a please sir!”
“Yes and how did that work out with Cheryl?” What is this kid’s problem with ‘sirs’? I’m not royalty for goodness sake!
“Well sir, it uh, turned out nicely, sir, I uh, start next week. Does it have an uh, income sir?”
“Oh good start, no it is unpaid.” What part of volunteer does this kid not grasp?
“I would, um, like to introduce you to my good friend Josie.”
“Oh yes nice to meet you Miss Josie.”
“Mr. Zoo Keeper, it is a joy to meet you, are the polar bears happy here?”
“Yes the Polar bears are quite happy.” Who is she, their mother?
“Well fed?”
“Yes, very well fed.” Again, is she like their caregiver?
“Well so long Mr.Zoo keeper, we are off to Bamboo Village for some Chinese.”
“Well, uh good bye sir. I hope to see you next Monday, uh, sir.” Again with the ‘sirs’!
“Alright see you kids around, have fun today.”
Yeesh, those geeks can gab. Well, on the bright side, I did get my pizza. I might as well go sit with the crew, but…then they might start discussing something that involves extra hours or meetings or something and on my lunch break, that’s all I need. I’ll just sit this one day out and eat with the public, maybe do some surveillance to impress the ol’ Manager. Ah I got a nice view of the fountain, the gift shop and the kid. Wait... the kid!? Oh gosh, the kid. Come on really? Why does he keep waving for me to come over to him? Where did that girl Jessie, no...Josie run off to? Might as well check it out, but if he is complaining about exact change, I’m making a break for it.
“Yes, yes I’m here, what the matter?”
“Well, I uh… I grossed her out…” Oh no, I do not like where this is headed…
“Oh you did? How…?”
“I uh... had this itch in my nose sir… and uh, she saw me.” OH YOU DID…?
“Well Ronny that’s just obscene…” EWW!
“Oh Really!? Is it that bad?!?”
“Yes, Ronny that’s gross. Especially in front of a girl.”
You can try to get her back, but Rodney you shouldn’t have done that in the first place.
No I am not talking to her for you, son, She is your friend and not mine.
Oh ok, well I’m gonna split, I got my shift in five. Good luck bud.
Well no matter what, use a Kleenex next time.
Yes, yes good and go wash your hands will yah kid?
Alright take care, bye now.
Now that was just appalling, he really needs to break that habit. The fact that he didn’t think she’d see him, or not care if she did. I just lost my appetite. I should’ve gone to eat with the crew, meetings or not, that beats what I just had to deal with. But that’s what I get for being for the only guy decent enough to put up with that type of thing around here. That’s me, the friendly zoo keeper.





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