Trapped in an Elevator

April 1, 2010
By Jessica Hitz GOLD, Hartland, Wisconsin
Jessica Hitz GOLD, Hartland, Wisconsin
14 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The famous Heidi Pratt does a catwalk into the bulky elevator. She brushes her pale blonde hair aside, and glances at the other passengers. “Hey boys, like what floor are you going to? Do you like my new nose, chin, eyebrows, ears, neck—“

“Get silly,” says a slender, young rapper whose sunglasses read Soulja Boy. “Girl, you were beautiful before, ya’ll don’t need no plastic surgery!”

“That’s more disgusting than when Peter went through that daisy dukes stage. Now be a doll and push that sparkly yellow button that says the number 3, will you?” says the sassy toddler in cherry red overalls, who only dreams of world domination.

Heidi, ignorant of the sarcasm, tries to push the third floor button. “Um, like guys? Like the button isn’t like working. Like, Look How I’m Doing, am I doing it right?”

“Hold on pretty lady, let me take a look. Yahhh you were right, but the elevator seems to be stuck ya’ll!” says Soulja Boy as he cranks that across the slippery elevator floor.

“Like, what does that mean?”

“DAMN YOU VILE WOMAN!” says Stewie, annoyed by her cluelessness, “It is true, Spencer has brain washed you!”

“It was youuuuuuuuu!” says Soulja boy glaring at Stewie menacingly.

“Why would I want to get myself stuck in an elevator? What do you want!” says Stewie, now deeply angered with both of them.

“I want to get the hell out of here!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, we’re fresh out of that, but what I can give you is UNTIMELY DEATH!”

“O-M-G, like I have a singing audition in like twenty minutes!” says Heidi frantically pacing throughout the now enclosed elevator, “And like No More fighting you two, it’s like making me more like nervous.”

Fifteen minutes rolls by and Soulja Boy veers towards Stewie’s direction. “Yo, what is that contraption ya’ll got there?”

“It’s called the answer to our problems.” The feisty, yet intelligent toddler finishes his device using some oddball items found in his diaper, “VICTORY IS MINE!” The elevator doors gradually open and the three of them are saved.

“Yo, peace man!” says Soulja Boy sprinting out of the elevator and into his Lamborghini Gallardo.

“Oh thank goodness little man, you are just an angel!” says Heidi as she gives Stewie a little smooch leaving bubble gum pink lips on his right cheek.

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