Well, my first 'post'. What a thrill. I'm not the most 'computer savvy' teen out there, so this is all pretty new to me. However, I am one for sharing my feelings, and this seems like the perfect excuse to drown myself in self pity.
I'm nothing more than usual, I assume. I mean, how exactly can I be sure if I think like a regular human? How can I be sure I am seeing everything everyone else is seeing? Not to get too philosophical. Basically, my assumptions tell me I'm normal, and I just need to establish that, because it gives you a very dull insight into 'me'.
Yes; me, me, me! What a typical word that must swirl around the heads of millions of emotionally defective teenagers everyday. But hear me out, this might help me, but it could help you.
Have you ever felt as though your head is fit to burst? Like you cannot focus on a single thought? Like you are a tennis ball being hurled one way and another around your brain? Most people have. I'm sure it's common. I would worry though, if you are like me, and this is a constant event. I cannot stop this feeling, this everlasting thinking that is far too fierce to be contemplation. Ever since I was small (and it wasn't that small, I was quite the porker)I have had to keep on reminding myself why my life is so good. I had to tell my head that I had a family and had fun. I had to pinpoint every single obstacle that worried me, and manoeuvre myself around it.
It worked for a while, until I realised I had to grow up and there were very difficult problems in my life that would hang about, that weren't a quick fix.
Having these little issues branded deep into my head is horrible. No matter how hard I shake, how fast I run, how hard I hit, they don't leave. And even when they are FINALLY overcome, they are soon replaced.
I like to think of this as the human condition. When you have everything in the world, and you are still not happy. This daunting feeling of never being content with your life or yourself. This dread where you are never satisfied, and the awful guilt as you realise that you are actually very lucky.
Don't blame yourself if you feel in this position. I sure that most of us think like this. Most of the population are probably quite stuck in their own head. You might just be surprised at how similar we all are...or you might not be...just don't get too caught up in the thought of it...