Change in Direction

March 9, 2010
By Anonymous

I am so angry. I worked so hard for so long and now it all seems like a waste of time. I hate my life. To be successful in and after high school you have to make sure to never get distracted make sure to keep away from the ‘bad crowd”. Which is what I did. And now this is what I get? Rejection letter after rejection letter. Who am I anymore, school was the only thing in life that completed me.
I see my mom’s car pull up, oh what should I do. The only thing I hate about this not did disappoint myself I am letting down everyone in my family. Ugh this is going to be a long life.

Okay so my name is Samantha, I have a 3.9 GPA average and no college wants me. I think that is what I am going to say when I introduce myself. As you can guess by now, perfection is my thing. Since I was a little girl I never made flaws and if I did I made to sure fix them right away. Back in elementary, I was the class nerd and bully at the same time. I know those two roles are always played by people very opposite of each other, but that’s me sometimes a walking box of contradictions. I was the smartest girl around, yet I was so ignorant and impatient. No one dared to make fun of my grades or the way I dressed, because I had a very ferocious temper and I would bite your head off if you even tried to make fun of me. But life presents you with hard decisions and sometimes you just have to choose, so as you can see I let go of the “bully” persona and education become more time consuming in my life.

Flash forward, and now I’m graduating high school. I am blending in more with the crowd. I learned if you always care about your self-image, your values and priories change. Trust me, I’ve been there before. I was the cheerleader during freshman year, the popular athlete in sophomore year, and last year was the worst I was the official party girl off our school. But as each year passes, I see my grades slipping, my family distancing themselves, and old friends fading. Finally I decided at the end of last year that senior year was different I will focus my time all to education. Now I may have been changing and my grades slipping but I never got a GPA lower than 3.8, so at my worst I was still one of the best. Since September 4, first day of school, never did I party, get crazy, lose my focus. I kept a straight 4.0 average, I volunteered at soup kitchens, I tutored, I joined so many clubs and now this is my reward I guess huh? What I get is rejection letters from most of the colleges I applied to. Okay I know “life’s not fair” sometimes but no one ever told me that life is also cruel and remorseless.

Flipping burgers ever night, I almost couldn’t stay up during the classes at community college. Yes, this is my life now. I seem to be the classical cliché of good girl gone bad. By day I go to college, whenever I’m not to tired, at night I usually work at this little fast food spot, and party the rest of the time. I have met and already lost tons of friends. But you know I am realizing this is life and it isn’t going to end up like I want it to. So my plan now is to let loose and take whatever life hands out to me.

I have been standing at this counter for hours and I have nothing to do. Finally. Is that it a boy my age? He’s walking closer; I swear I have seen him before. Oh dang, it’s Freddy. Oh no, oh no. What am I supposed to do? Okay, back closet!
“ Hey Sam, is that you”
Oh no. He saw me.
“ Oh uhh, hey. Ya. I mean ya it’s me.”
“Hey, you still around town, aha its funny huh?”
“What? Ya, wait uhmm what’s o funny?”
‘Oh you know, everyone thought you were the going to be the successful of this town you know, the prodigy’
“Ahaha, ya you know how life turns out. What’s the saying..uhmm”
“expect the unexpected?”
wow, he knows me so well. That’s exactly what I was thinking, Okay Freddy was the love of my life. Flashback to he first day of high school, back when we were freshman, we became best friends. You know what that leads to best friends to girlfriend/boyfriend. Well I caught him cheating on me with my best girlfriend. And I haven’t talked to either of them since. So this situation is just a bit awkward.
“ okay so how’s Jen” I nervously asked him.
: Sam what are you talking about, you know that was a one night thing right….?”
“ no, I didn’t know.”
“ well I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me sometime?”
his deep blue eyes were boring into mine. Life gives you difficult decisions but sometimes you just don’t know what to choose.
“so….what do you say?”
“I have to go on my lunch break to talk to non customers. Kay? How bout you ask me around 3pm?”
He looked at me and his face was so unsure
“maybe I will”
And with this that sauntered out.

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