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Klutz: I have learned the meaning of this word over the years of my life. I hurt myself doing the simplest things, like opening a door or walking up stairs. Things that aren’t normally dangerous are when I do them. I have tried to grow out of this horrible trait for while now; nevertheless nothing seems to work.
Do you know that people actually write books called “How to not be a klutz?” Well they do, and I have read nearly everyone I have come across looking for some hope. Every time I read one of these books I end up getting really frustrated. Because instead of telling you how to overcome Klutziness, they just keep defining what a klutz is. I get so angry with them that I just want to scream “ I know what a klutz is! I am one! Now tell me how to not be one!” They never do listen. Plus it doesn’t help when my mother nags on me all the time to “stop being such a klutz Ashlie”. I hear that phrase way to often. Sometimes I think about what it would be like being a so-called “graceful person”. My mom for example, is the most graceful person I know. When she walks or does anything she does it perfectly with no flaws. But when I do something I always mess up somewhere and make a huge mess or hurt myself in someway. For example when I
walk its like watching a baby horse walk for the first time, the difference between me and the horse, is the fact the horse gets better at walking… I don’t.
I am banned at my boyfriend’s house, because there have been to many accidents. One night, we were in his fort that was past the forest next to his house. It was about 11 o’clock at night, and being teens we were hungry. So he sent me back to get food. About halfway through the forest I realized how dark it was and that I neglected to get a flashlight. But I kept walking through the forest. Suddenly, I fell into about a 12-foot hole. “AHHH” I stuttered while falling. One minute I was walking and the next I am in a hole. I was on the ground face down in the mud. Falling down has been a regular occurrence for me, so I didn’t get hurt to bad. Just a couple scrapes here and there. “It could have been worse,” I said to myself calmly. It was the wrong time for me to have said something. From a couple feet away I stared the hear growling. My mind started racing a thousand miles per minute about what it could be. I then thought about what my
boyfriend had said about a mountain lion appearance up here recently. So I immediately thought “I am going to die”. Not knowing what else to do I closed my eyes and started to pray. I heard it getting closer and I started to cry. Thump. Dog barks. “Omg! Blue you scared me!” It was my boyfriend’s dog blue the whole time. Blue came closer to me wagging her tail, as if she was saying come on lets get out of here. I agreed and started to climb up the side of the hole. After struggling with this task for a good five minutes. I decided this time I was going to let blue lead the way. I was still covered in mud by the time I reached the house. “Ouch”, I said as I stumbled into the house. Nolan’s mom Kim heard me and came into the kitchen, While saying “ Ashlie, what did you do now” in her joking tone.
“ Trust me, you don’t want to know” I said while taking off my shoes.
Eric Nolan’s dad walks in.
“ Ha-ha, what happened to you?” Eric said while laughing.
I ended up telling them the whole story. By the time I was done they didn’t seemed shocked at all, instead the where laughing hysterically. They decided to come up with a new rule for me, that didn’t surprise me at all. New Rule: Ashlie can’t go out after dark without a flashlight, and she has to have someone with her. I have acquired many rules over the time I have been dating Nolan. Everyone in the family seems to give me a new rule every time I come over, including Nolan.
Rule #1: ABSOUTLY NO POWER TOOLS!
o Because who knows what could happen, if someone were to set me lose
with a power tool.
o Also because once I used one of the power tools (a sander) and I ended up sanding off my fingernail. Go figure. Ha-ha.
Rule #2: No working with any sharp objects or hard things. Ex: Hammer.
o The reason for this rule is simple. Just anything sharp/hard would be a more dangerous hazard if it came in contact with me.
One time while making chopsticks I hit myself with a hammer, giving myself a huge blood blister.
Rule #3: No climbing trees or climbing fences
o I don’t think I need to explain why there is a rule for this.
I have fallen out of a tree, and once while trying to climb a fence I got stuck on the top and cut the skin over my ribs.
Rule #4: To wear a helmet wherever I go.
Some accidents that have happened at his house, more rules are bound to happen if anyone found out about them:
· I Scraped my foot when cutting fire wood
· I’ve Gotten countless splinters
· I Ran into doors/walls
· I’ve Fallen down the stairs to many times to count
· I’ve Scraped the back of my ankle with a steel bike pedal
· I’ve Tripped over nearly everything in the house
The list of things I do on a regular basis will keep growing… I love his family, and I know they want the best for me. All the rules are a safety measure because they love me and don’t want me to get hurt. (As much)
I have been trying for so many years to get rid of my klutziness, and its never gone away. Until recently I have gone through an epiphany: The reason why it isn’t going away is because it is meant to be a part of me. I have also come to the realization that if it went away, I wouldn’t have funny stories to tell. My friends always are anxious to hear about my stories, and when they see me being a klutz, they simply say “its an Ashlie thing”, or they say to me, “ Ash you would do that” ha-ha. My klutzy stories are part of what makes me who I am. I am a klutz and am proud of it. All my cuts and scrapes tell a lot about me, and they have their own separate stories.