The Key

February 25, 2010
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The golden Acura had been following the bus for a couple days. Now it was joined by three identical Acuras. It was weird.

When we hit the highway, three of the Acuras broke their line behind the bus and drove around the bus, two satying beside it, one kept going about a mile then started to slow down, warning the bus to do so. I knew what was going on then.

"Dont stop!" I yelled at Mike the bus driver.

He didnt hear me over the roar of bus talk. I tried to run up to tell him, but I didn't make it in time because tehre was so many kids on the bus.

Mike slammed on the brakes just in time to not hit the Acura in front. I would have demolished him with the bus. But that's just me.

I had slammed into a fourth grader and made him cry when I hit him. I hid behind him, my backpack clutched to my chest.

A young man with dark hair abd peircing blue eyes boarded the bus. He searched for something, but he wasn't getting it.

"Where is Maria Turner?" he said in a honey sweet and seductive voice. I wasn't fall for it again.

I looked around at all the innocent and silent kids who knew nothing of the real world yet. I couldn't get them hurt because of this.

I passed the backpack to my friend, whispering, "Keep this a secret."

Then I stood up.

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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

Jigjoo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 17, 2010 at 11:59 am
It's different, but a few errors lurk within your story. You're missing a few apostrophes and such as that, and you could develop your details just a teensy bit more. For example, who is your main character? We don't even know what gender she is until her name is called by your antagonist. This piece could also use a little bit more of a description of...well, anything. It does seem like a good rough draft, though. If you work on it a little bit longer, I'm sure you could mak... (more »)
^unshed.tears replied...
Mar. 17, 2010 at 12:05 pm
thanks :) and i did that on purpose, i mean the name thing. its just how i write
peace_love_beauty said...
Mar. 15, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Interesting start. Very suspensful, you should keep writing with the next bit.
^unshed.tears replied...
Mar. 16, 2010 at 12:16 pm
thanks :) i actually got the inspiration cuz an Acura followed my bus the whole route one day and my imagination just made up a story lol
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