Just one

February 3, 2010
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“Do it! Do it!” my classmates voices echoed throughout the boring hallways. It was just one more day, one more hallway and I never thought that it would be the day I defined myself for being someone who didn’t care. I was surrounded by strange faces that I knew from passing, but no other reason. I knew they attended our school, but I could not tell you their names. I turn to my left and see faces with their mouths moving in sync. It was the same to the right of me. Boys and girls are all in formation. And people say we never agree? What a joke. I look in front of me. My mouth is closed. I can see the bigger boy pushing the weak little boy against the cold, yellow lockers. I could see the metal buckling and shivering behind the boys’ plaid shirt. Poor kid had to be scared. “Do it! Do it!” The kids were still screaming. How much time had passed? How could no one care enough to say something? The larger boys’ fist was pulled back and ready to be released. The rhythm of the cheering was starting to consume me. I could feel myself wanting to join in. My mind was already sing-songing along with my peers. Entertainment is what they call this. Apparently punching weaker kids was a good past time just because you’re bored. Who am I to disagree?”Do it! Do it!” I’m about to say it too. I can feel my body swaying to those hypnotizing chants. I look at the smaller boy again. I see his shirt wrapping tighter around his neck. I see the look of panic and fear in his eyes. I feel guilty. I have yet to do anything wrong, but I have yet to anything right either. “Do it! Do it” the kid behind me is screaming the words in my ear. So I did it. I turned around and looked our future leader in the eyes and laughed at him.

“Shut up. You’re so annoying!” it was all I said. It was all I needed to say. Everyone around me turned to look at me. They all stopped singing the two words that would change both of those boys’ lives. They just stared at me in amazement. Yeah, I said it. No, they should not be surprised. I turned forward again to look at the panicked boy. I could feel the tension in the kids around me. No one was chanting now, no one wanted to be the only one heard. His back was sliding down the lockers. The larger boys’ fist was no longer raised. It was quiet. The plaid shirt was released and the boys’ feet were moving before they even hit the ground. The larger boy just stood there. The crowd was dissipating. I couldn’t make myself move. The thing was, I might have just made a difference. I might have just caused the end to that situation. I did not care though. Should I? No. I did nothing to be recognized. Nothing to get stop them. I told one kid to shut up, and truth be told, if he would have said one word back I would have decked him in his face. I didn’t stand up for that kid. I just stood there wanting to sing along. And if that boy behind me did not have such an annoying voice I would have started cheering right along with the rest of the students. Or even if the stupid loser would have taken one step backwards, I would have started in too. It was that one boy behind me; he was the one that made the situation better. He might not realize it, and he might feel bad because he went along and joined into the crowd, but he changed that for me. I didn’t care about the boy getting ready to get his face bashed in. I probably would have laughed at first. That may make me a horrible person, but I’m admitting to it. I didn’t care. People may say different, but I defined myself that day. I defined myself for a person who isn’t herself. I am just one more face you pass in the hallway and don’t recognize. Just one more girl who wants to fit in. I’m just more person who is not sure where she belongs. One. Uno. That’s me.





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