The world had moved on without around me. I was stuck in the past of last year. Do you remember how amazing it was? In the summer when we swam every day and the day at the fair when you spent 30.00 trying to win me a huge stuffed animal but could only get me a tiny one? I let you in on a secret I still have that stuffed animal and love it more than you will ever know. Do you remember when my older brothers came home from college and quizzed you with every question in the book (they have always been way too over protective)? That summer was the best summer I ever had we did everything together .I will never forget how you started calling me the most spectacular girl ever. I fell in love with you and your gorgeous green eyes and light brown hair. You made me feel beautiful and safe and loved. Then fall came. Do you remember the football game and how amazing you played? How everyone loved you? Do you remember driving home together? How that driver came out of nowhere and hit the driver side door, your door? How I begged you to stay with me, to be okay and how you……how you died. For me I remember every detail as though it has been burned into my memory. I am stuck in that moment I miss you so bad. My family is worried about me and maybe they should be. Sometimes I feel nothing like I am an empty shell and sometimes I feel nothing but rage. Rage at the driver of the other car who decided to drink and drive, the driver who was too lazy to just call a cab. He killed you and when you died part of me died. All of this happened because of stupidity and laziness and it change my life. Just stupidity and laziness………….
stupidity and laziness
December 12, 2009