The Love Therapist

November 20, 2009
I have a sister, never married. She works all day long and all night long. I have never seen her go out with anyone, not even with my family. Every male we tried to set her up with ended up in a dramatic tragedy. Ever since the twelfth date, no other guy contacted us ever again. I still vaguely remember what happened during her first date. When she realized that someone finally wants to go out with her, she started watching romantic dramas and tried learning from the main characters. She believed that when the characters get drunk, romance begins to blossom immediately. So when she decided to show up to her date, she immediately started drinking. Unfortunately, during her drunken state, she accidentally spilled hot soup on her date’s groin, followed by immediately throwing up directly on the same area.

I’m actually quite surprised that my sister managed to get 12 different dates. My sister is as violent as she is hard working. She can work hard, fast, and vigorously. When she is in a good mood, the pleasure you can receive from her is irreplaceable. However, when she is in a bad mood, her reign of terror is worse than that of one during the French Revolution.

I, however, can no longer stand her anymore. The time that my bruises should stop hurting has come and I’ve decided to set her up with another date: date number 13. Through the internet, I found someone called the "Love Therapist." Though costly it may be, I have no other choice.

This man promised a new beginning for my sister. He said he can help her open up herself and add a love life to her boring life, so I agreed.

After two weeks, my sister suddenly came up to me and asked me about love. Honestly, I had no idea what love is, so I just read her a bunch of poems that the 'Love Therapist' had prepared. I heard from my sister that they have had twelve different romantic nights. She also hinted that on the thirteenth night, she would take the relationship up a notch and do something extravagant.

In about a month, the 'Love Therapist' called me and told me he quit. Apparently, my sister had confined him for two weeks and assaulted him in every way possible. He told me to keep it a secret so his reputation will remain. The next day, I called the police and they arrested my sister. I guess the money I paid the "Love Therapist" was worth it after all.

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