With All My Heart | Teen Ink

With All My Heart

September 25, 2009
By Alexa Crum BRONZE, Cave Creek, Arizona
Alexa Crum BRONZE, Cave Creek, Arizona
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

There once was a girl named Sara, she lived on a farm in Kentucky. Her parents bred and raced throughbreds. Sara never really liked horses. But one day she went into the barn and saw one of the horses was having a baby so she stayied and watched. When the baby was born she thought that was the prettiest horse she had ever seen. She spent every day with the baby. Her father told her she could name her so she named her With All My Heart because she loved that baby with all her heart.
When the baby turned two years old she went into training to become a race horse. Eight months later she was ready to race. When the time came for her first race Sara was so excitedas she waited in the stands.when the race started With All My Heart was in the back but at the end she caught up and won the race. She ended up winning all the races she was entered in. Then the time came for the Kentucky Derby. Saras parents decuded to enter With All My heart in the derby. When the race came Sara was so excited. Then the race started and she was winning but then she started falling back ans the jockey got off. She had broken her leg. They had to put her down. Sara said she would love her with all her heart.


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This article has 4 comments.


pablo jaurez said...
on Oct. 22 2009 at 9:51 am
this is cool i guess realy i didint readit i just posted this ha

pedro said...
on Oct. 22 2009 at 9:48 am
it was too kind and the horse alwayes won write somthing realistic

renee=P BRONZE said...
on Oct. 20 2009 at 10:28 pm
renee=P BRONZE, Dever, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
Sad story but very realistic, i liked it but more detail woud have been great. Good Job keep writing

TigerLynn GOLD said...
on Oct. 16 2009 at 5:49 pm
TigerLynn GOLD, Maysville, Kentucky
10 articles 0 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"She walks in beauty,
Like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes."
--Byron

This is too short and you have spelling errors. Also you should not merely say waht happened but describe moments, let us feel it. plus idea was kinda cliche. I think you should try writing again and take into account this advice and you will be much more satisfied with your work.