The Life After I Messed Up Royaly

September 26, 2009
I sit along the park bench , sitting there just thinking of the past mistakes that I have rendered . I lost him & I lost my life that once was perfect.
My life used to be so simple. Wake up , take a shower, paint on the face to show who I needed to be, put on the clothes with the names everyone knows, and head of to the high school where I stood as queen. No one had the ability to explain to me why I was chosen as queen but honestly I don’t care how I was chosen but as queen I have the power to do as I please. Minipulate others to do my willing. HA! What could I say I loved it!!!!.

3 months earlier

I walk down the hall in my outfit that accented my body( short, tight skirt , a polo shirt left unbuttoned & a pair of sexy heels) and I had my favorite accessorie wrapped around my waist Shaq my bf(A.K.A hottest basketball/football player in school ). We look like Barbie & Ken , king & queen of school. Everyone wants to be us (who wouldn’t ). He kissed me as he walked me into my classroom , grabbed my shoulders & slipped a note under my bra strap , he walked away expressionless. I took the note in my hands, read it………
“ Babe I love you but things are not good for us now. I hate to do this but babe we are over.
-Shaq ”

I read that note a million times facing reality. Without him I’m nothing . Not Barbie, not the queen I was entitled to be . We don’t speak , glance or notice each other’s exsitance for the rest of the day, week, month.

I transformed into the old me before him( a nerd !!!!! ) . No one looks at me again, they forget my name, forget my exsitance . I’m invisable.

1 month earlier

Its my birthday , I’m 18 . I had a party planned but there is no point to one now that I’m non-exsitant in school. No friends ;I thought I knew who they were but apparently I didn’t . So tonight I remaind at home with my parents & a stupid cake with pink writting on it. It just proclaims me as a dork to the next level. Who knew that within 3 months you could go from queen to peasent ; well it’s happening to me & stinks big time.

The next day in school I walk up to my locker there is a rose taped to it with a note. It was his hand writing.
“ Hi Juliet I wanted to say Happy Birthday. I still care about you . Ik you didn’t think so but I do

I read that & it summons tears to my eyes ; the thoughts from months earlier reoccuring in my mind. I was happy than ,but I need to find a way to be happy now. I need to be me . I have to find out who I am without him by my side.

Present Day
To this day I am still lost without my queen status. But I found who I am . Today I render those thoughts again ‘cuz it’s his birthday. I sent a card ‘cuz I’m still unable to face him without summoning tears. My life after I messed up royaly I hear only one thought only silance………………

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