9 Months

The dictionary term for rape is the crime of forcible sexual intercourse; abusive treatment.

The dictionary has it all wrong. They should add horrible and despicable, nasty and violated. No one
really understands how bad rape really is until after you've experienced it. I know I didn't.
When it happens, your just glad you alive. The aftershock though is unbearable. For me, I was lucky.
My mind is still in tack, I had friends I could talk to, my parents tried their best to do what they
could, and I didn't get a STI. I didn't know who my rapist was. He had a black mask with blue
eyes and tan skin. That's all I knew. Sometimes I have visions of that night. I took the bus home
with a couple of friends after a concert. None of them lived near me so I got my stop alone. The
street light didn't work in my neighborhood so all I had was the moon for light. Everything was
fine until a car parked. The driver came out and hugged me from behind. I screamed and one light
flickered on four houses away. One guy came out and saw us. The guy behind me squeezed harder so I
couldn't breathe. The guy that came out of the house went back inside probably thinking we were a
couple just playing around. He picked me up and put me in a car. Of course he wasn't going to get
me that easily so I opened the door and walked back out. He saw and tried to grab my hand. I then
switched t weight from my left foot to my right, turned, and cupped my hand into his neck. I pushed
down harder and kneed him in the nuts. You could see it in his eyes that he was in pain. Thank god
for creating such a weakness for boys. It didn't hurt for long though. His leg came up and tangled
with mine. I pushed down on his neck harder and punched him in the nose. I couldn't tell if I
really did any damage because of his mask. The leg that was tangled with mine kicked my other leg
and I fell. He grabbed my neck and slammed my head on the ground. I was passed out because the next
thing I knew, I was in a house. My head was ringing when I finally came back to earth. I couldn't
quite focus. The only thing I knew was his flesh was against mine. At first I was
thinking, I am not a virgin anymore. Then I remembered what the situation was and I got pissed. He
had cuffed me down tight, knowing I would find a way out if I was just tied up. Luckily, he didn't
have me muffled. There was no way that anyone would hear me if I screamed but my teeth could come in
handy. The weird part was I wasn't really scared yet. I was just really mad and focusing all my
strength on staying alive, just in case he thought of killing me after. There was no way I was just going to take that. When he finally stopped, I hit him. He yelled and started rubbing his nose. I made my fingers together, making my hand as
skinny as possible and pulled my hand out of the cuffs. It wasn't that easy though. My skin
chaffed and both my hands started to bleed. I looked at my legs and knew there was no way I could
get away. My hands were free so I started punching him. He grabbed my flailing arms and pinned me
down. 'It's not over yet.' It was the first time he spoke, a scary deep voice that just kept
repeating in my head. I started to cry as he lowered his lips and kissed me. Almost like a loves
kiss, his fingers touching me lightly, gently back and forth on my arm, giving me goose bumps. I
gave in; mad at myself for not trying anything else, I just had no more energy left. My body just
laid there while he caressed it. I didn't care anymore. I decided to go to sleep. It was the best
thing to me; I don't think or worry when I sleep. As I started drifting away and my body lay limp,
the last thing I heard that night was a siren.





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