April 23, 2009
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I was never really happy. I mean I wasn’t emo or anything but I was never really satisfied. Yeah sure money, friends, and drugs kept me happy for a while but it always seemed to make me feel even lower than before when I ran out.
Yeah I smoked, but that was just sometimes, and just for the fun of it. I was never addicted. I guess I was just a regular guy. I had a lot of friends, and two best friends named Hailey and Zach. I was a class clown, my only purpose in life was to bug my teachers, and just did things for the heck of it. Stubborn, some would say, but it was just that I never let the crowd move me away from any of my opinions.
I didn’t have a very good home life. My dad split when I was eight. Of course none of my friends except Zach, and Hailey knew that. (I had always lived in Franklin and they have been my best friends since kindergarten.) I never realized it before but I had trust issues and covered up how I really felt with jokes and sarcasm. My mom worked a lot to try and raise me right. But she forgot the most important thing, being there for me.
So there’s a little of my background, now I’ll get to my story. Today was the day that I got to take my friends out to do whatever I wanted, we did this every Friday switching off on who gets to pay, since we all have jobs. I would take Hailey and Zach out to the movies. I walked out to start up my old orange truck, whistling a random tune. I was walking carefully, trying to avoid the mud puddles. It was pretty chilly out today. I started my truck, ran back inside and wrote and note to my mom, telling her that I’d be back later and that I had my cell phone. I walked upstairs into my cluttered room, grabbed my coat and started walking downstairs.
I took a quick look in the mirror before I left. I was 17, medium height, medium build, had long dark brown hair and my moms striking green eyes. I straightened out my jacket and zipped it up.
I walked back out over to my truck and got in. Sitting inside my warm Toyota I looked for some good music to play. I leafed through my cd’s until I found Emery. Popping it into my cd player I looked around my truck. I would probably have to clean it out again. It was filled with wrappers, soda cans, CD's and anything else you can think of. I usually ate here during school lunch, or smoked in here if my friends had any cigarettes. I skipped to song number eight The Ponytail Parade (acoustic) my favorite song, and started driving off to Hailey’s house. “These laces are untied but my feet are still walking away.” I sang.
I pulled into her house five minutes later. Impatiently I waited until she finally came out. Hailey had black hair with purple highlights and green eyes. She was short and skinny and looked intimidating, she but was actually pretty nice if you weren’t already on her bad side.
“Hey” she said as she opened the passenger door and hopped in.
“Hey, your gonna like what we’re doing today”
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at are we doing?” she said suspiciously
“You’ll see,” I said with a smile on my face. I backed out of the driveway and started driving towards Zach’s house.
“You know I’m going to find out anyway, so you shouldn’t even bother not telling me”
“It’s a surprise,” I said uncertainly as I pulled into Zach’s driveway.
“Usually I like surprises, but I don’t know about this one,” She said catching the hesitation in my voice.
I just laughed remembering last time I took everyone to an amusement park knowing that Hailey was terrified of heights. It was hilarious, she finally went on a ride after about an hour of persuading her, and when she did she had her eyes shut tightly and was tearing my skin off of my arm.
But this was a different kind of surprise. You see I didn’t know what we were doing today so… surprise!

Zach started walking out of his house and up to my orange truck. Zach was 17, had short black hair, dark brown eyes, and was a little tall for his age. “Hey” he said as he climbed in.


“So, what are we doing today?”

“Surprise” I said. Zach smiled and looked at Hailey. “No, we’re not going to another amusement park.” I told him before he even had time to ask.

“Dang it” Zach said disappointedly

I pulled out of Zach’s driveway and started driving back towards my house. I tried just focusing on the road but I ended up in Zach and Hailey’s conversation about the prank we wanted to pull on one of our teachers.

I thought that that night was going to be just okay, but It ended up being the best day of my life. I just didn’t know it yet.

I was just a block away from my house when we heard music playing from the Franklin Assembly of God church. I stopped the truck to listen. The music actually sounded… good. “I thought that at church your supposed to play hymns or something.”
“I know, it actually doesn’t sound half bad.” Hailey said after a minute.
“Lets check it out.” I suggested. They both looked at me like I was crazy.
After a moment, Zach asked “Are you okay dude?”
“When am I ever ok?” I said making a joke. “Come on guys we don’t even have to stay. We can go whenever we want.” I said, “Lets just listen to the band that’s playing there then go back right after.”
“Ok” Hailey said uncertainly. “But just for the music” she reminded me.
“Fine lets go.” Zach agreed
So we parked in their parking lot and hopped out. Slowly I walked up to the church, Zach and Hailey trailing behind. I opened the door and we quickly sat in the way back. Trying to stay unnoticed. The band that was playing there transitioned into a slow song. The lyrics captured my attention. I listened to the words more carefully. I will never forget those words that I heard that day.
“There is a God, who loves you for who you are.
He knows your every thought, and knows your every scar.
His blood was shed just for you, and was beaten bruised and scared
Just know that he is always near, no matter how far you are.”
I know it may sound weird that I was crying over a song, but it wasn’t just the song. Could there really be a God that loves me? Even though I turned be back on him so many times? And would he suffer just for me? Even though I am so unworthy of it?
A guy came up to me and started talking to me about Jesus and what he did on the cross. Sure, I heard the story many times, but never really paid much attention to it. But now I felt it in my heart that it was true. I couldn’t stop crying. As he told me more my crying reached slight hysteria. He asked if I wanted to accept Jesus as my savior. “Yes” I mumbled
“You would have to give up everything,” he said studying my face. I nodded my head. He prayed with me, asking for my forgiveness. I felt strangely at peace with myself. I felt like everything

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