There comes a time in everyone’s lives when we must venture into unknown territory. For some this is a way of life, to always be seeking out adventure and relishing in the adrenaline that such an event creates- others not so much. But I suppose there comes a time in everyone’s lives when we must leave our comfort zones, and I am afraid that this is my time.
***
An hour before
I do believe that there is nothing more delightful than good company and a good tea (although the circumstances, in which either is presented to you in, may not be half so enjoyable). Whilst enjoying a strong mug full of the later I heard my husband approaching, in what sounded to be a bit of a flurry. “Sarah,” he mumbled in a tone of endearment, “I would like you to come join me on a voyage upon the Mary Celeste.”
Excuses running through my mind I tried to think of a way to get out of such a proposal. But in truth I knew that it was pointless, I had after all seen this proposition coming. Benjamin had become captain of a small vessel named the Mary Celeste, and up until this point no problems had arisen in terms of his work- I generally tended to just keep out of it. However the Mary Celeste had been commissioned to carry 1701 barrels of alcohol, a cargo that Benjamin Briggs was entirely uncomfortable with- given his strong religious beliefs and the fact that he was an abstainer. It only made sense that he would want his wife aboard with him…
“Benjamin, think of the children surely you do not expect them to come too!” I retorted.
Captain Briggs replied in much the same manner, “oh please Sarah we all know what this is about, can you not just overcome your irrational fear- and accompany me on a voyage of great prospect?”
I had already begun to give in; I didn’t see much point in continuing if Ben was to be so adamant in his wishes.
“Okay”, I said with a far less annoyed voice, “but what of the children?”
“Sophia will come with us and Arthur will stay here with his grandmother so he can continue schooling,” Benjamin replied with finality in his tone.
So it was settled. I would go. The prospect of sailing across open waters filled me with a fear that I had never before known. You think the wife of a sailor would learn to overcome a fear of the ocean, but not me. The idea of losing yourself to the ocean frightens me, being devoured by the waves and then sinking into nothingness, I cannot think of anything worse.
***
Several days later
We had been on board the Mary Celeste for an uneventful 19 days. Uneventful, apart from a minor quake we had experienced- shaking the place a little. Surprisingly the ocean no longer bothered me but rather was a comfort, and a place that I could tell all my worries without fear of having the more embarrassing of them repeated. And for the reason that I had found a friend in the ocean and not an anxiety I was glad for coming along on this rather dull voyage. Most days on my behalf were spent inside the captain’s quarters tending to Sofia. Benjamin on the other hand a great joy in ordering the crew about and peering across the endless bodies of water- the ocean seemed a valued friend of his too.
Feeling rather bored I opened the door a walked on deck, only to be met with a huge puff of smoke directed straight into my eyes.
“Aarrgh!” I coughed, “Whatever was that for?”
“My apologies Mam,” replied the sailor- and with that he left.
I glanced behind me to see him making his way to hatch, opening it and ventilating. I strode on towards Benjamin and began to converse only to stopped mid-sentence by a BOOM! Panicked every one stopped what they were doing, glanced around to see a huge fire coming from inside the cargo storage. I ran to grab Sofia and everyone addressed the Captain as to what to do next, the seconds blurred by as everything became one big disaster.
I had been near the explosion and something wasn’t quite right, for one the air surrounding the fire was relatively cool and the explosion wasn’t leaving any burn marks, but the Captain thought otherwise and insisted that we all get on board the lifeboat. The lifeboat was boarded, when we realized that there was only enough space for 8 full grown men, not the 9 that were on board.
“You let go ahead,” ordered the Captain, “I must go down with the ship.”
“Don’t be ridiculous” I pleaded, “we can make space, or I shall stay with you”
“Do as you wish but I shall go down with Mary, I will jump- for I would not go any other way.”
A wave of emotion overcame me as I realized what I was signing myself up for, but not much was said from that point onwards. I handed Sophia to the men on the lifeboat and kissed her goodbye, just because we were throwing our lives away doesn’t mean she should as well. And that was it, as we watched them row the lifeboat into the distance, I squeezed Benjamin’s hand and we jumped. We jumped. In my last minute I thought to myself that it was better this way, I would rather lose myself on my own terms than die by someone else’s. And so I sunk down, to the depths of the ocean, to lie forever with the rest of its secrets.