Poisoned

April 16, 2010
By Kandabear SILVER, East Bend, North Carolina
Kandabear SILVER, East Bend, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I went insane from long intervals of sanity." - Edgar Allan Poe
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say but what we are unable to say." - Unknown
"You must say drunk on writing so that reality can not destory you." - Ray Bradbury


Liberation they said as they walked through the aftermath, the evidence of our dual existence, our obvious conflict. It was difficult to witness their tender faces painted noble and uniforms of immortal heroism. They gathered some and set others aside and called us liberated.

And how am I liberated? While darkness still haunts my mind’s eye. The air I breathe, the world as I see, and everything in it is tainted with humanity’s ignorance to our plight, our suffering. They took us up in the masses, outwardly gregarious yet still coarse. We tromped through our dead, fallen kin and neighbor. And as we moved, I tried to rectify the last decade of my existence.

I closed my eyes against the outside watched the nightmares unfold. I remembered all I had seen. The distorted images of children face down in streets, of bodies broken and battered, of the smell and taste of flesh in the wind. The SS screamed in my head that I was a demon, my blood was a blemish in the sight of my own country. My friends and family were pushed together in cramped complexes, begging for water, food, and mercy. I signed a card on a train for my family of forced reassurance.

Would it be difficult to breathe in society? I could be like so many others, dogmatic in disbelief, denying such scrupulous evidence for false satisfaction. I might stand in the crowds and portray the illusion of gross disgust and deep sympathies. I could pretend to forget. But in doing so, would I not be what the nations had acclaimed for years?

Would I not be a poison?

Would I not be a poison to my fallen, a poison to the truth and the very history of man? Would I not be the virus of plaguing ignorance? The very thing I despised in this world. I would only become the representation of the uniforms’ words.

I looked into the sky and saw the ash that shaded the sunlight. The warmth that once seemed so tenuous, now my spirit longed for dried and withered. And still they carried me as a shell of my prior identity and still they screamed that I was liberated. Tenacious soldiers pushed us to our freedom.

My freedom.

As I watched the last of us alive being filed in a most civil fashion, I was reminded that though I was alive, I had already died in this place. The rationalism I had once understood, my observations, the general familiarity I’d loved, now corrupted by the abundance of failing will-power. My training and discipline were now a decaying memory. Insignificant.

I was no longer who I had once been.

I was no longer who I once knew.

I was an empty vessel.

And for the first time in my years of imprisonment and slavery, in my time of fighting to survive, and justify; I felt weak and vulnerable. I felt as though I couldn’t survive, that I would fall and never open my eyes again.

I felt like a poison.


The author's comments:
This is a piece from the point of view of a German Jew after the end of the Holocaust

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This article has 114 comments.


on May. 7 2010 at 7:22 pm
hyp0allergenic SILVER, Woodhaven, Michigan
8 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?” -John Lennon

Wow, that was beautiful. Great concept, and AMAZING word precision.

A lot of times when people attempt expanded vocabulary, the piece ends up scattered and focusing more on the vocabulary than the actual point being conveyed. You do an excellent job and defying that line, and letting the language work for you, rather than the other way around.

Great job. You should feel really proud. :)


Jade<3Josh said...
on May. 5 2010 at 2:11 pm
Good work. The vocabulary is kind of heavy on one side. But still good job. I look forward to more work.

KaylaY said...
on May. 5 2010 at 5:38 am
This was amazing. Good job. I love the elevated vocabulary! Good job <3

on May. 5 2010 at 5:24 am
luv_icecream SILVER, Dubai, Other
7 articles 1 photo 15 comments
I really like this!! It's awesome!! :D

on May. 4 2010 at 4:52 pm

yOu ArE aMaZiNg <3

EPIC WORK

There needs to be a sequel! BEASTIESSSS


KaosStar said...
on May. 4 2010 at 4:20 pm
Wow! I LOVE IT! You need to write more... NOW! =P

Britt'sMom said...
on May. 4 2010 at 4:18 pm
This was an amazingly emotional and heart pounding read! Great talent! Keep up the good work!

on May. 4 2010 at 4:13 pm
Kandabear SILVER, East Bend, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I went insane from long intervals of sanity." - Edgar Allan Poe
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say but what we are unable to say." - Unknown
"You must say drunk on writing so that reality can not destory you." - Ray Bradbury

Thank you! I'm glad to hear I was properly able to transfer the emotion I wanted to depict in my writing. It means a lot thank you. =)

on May. 4 2010 at 4:12 pm
Kandabear SILVER, East Bend, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I went insane from long intervals of sanity." - Edgar Allan Poe
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say but what we are unable to say." - Unknown
"You must say drunk on writing so that reality can not destory you." - Ray Bradbury

Thank you for the praise and encouragement. And I'll be more than happy to read your work. =)

on May. 4 2010 at 4:11 pm
Kandabear SILVER, East Bend, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I went insane from long intervals of sanity." - Edgar Allan Poe
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say but what we are unable to say." - Unknown
"You must say drunk on writing so that reality can not destory you." - Ray Bradbury

Thank you I love slipping in somewhat poetic verses into my fiction. I love those lines that touch your heart strings. lol

on May. 4 2010 at 4:10 pm
Kandabear SILVER, East Bend, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I went insane from long intervals of sanity." - Edgar Allan Poe
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say but what we are unable to say." - Unknown
"You must say drunk on writing so that reality can not destory you." - Ray Bradbury

bahaha. thanks sweetie. im thankful. im glad to see my writing is enjoyed! =3 The encouragement is incredible.

on May. 4 2010 at 4:02 pm
Kandabear SILVER, East Bend, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I went insane from long intervals of sanity." - Edgar Allan Poe
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say but what we are unable to say." - Unknown
"You must say drunk on writing so that reality can not destory you." - Ray Bradbury

Thank you for the encouragement =)

on May. 4 2010 at 2:59 pm
sunnyhunny PLATINUM, Litchfield, New Hampshire
22 articles 3 photos 329 comments

Favorite Quote:
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
-Ghandi

Oh my gosh.  Amazing.  You take this much further than the expected joy at being liberated.  This is so real and honest and is probably how many Jews felt after they were freed.  How could they ever live a normal life?  How could they live with their past haunting them?  This really made me think.  Nice job.

on May. 3 2010 at 10:48 pm
christianjedi, Roundup, Montana
0 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
Make no little plans. They have no magic to stir your blood.

Wow.  Extremely well-written.  You have talent. 

There are a few sentences that don't read quite clearly; I think you either skipped a word, or tried to combine too many phrases/clauses without the right punctuation.

You are a very descriptive writer; well done!  I was drawn into the story and kept there.  Persevere!


on May. 3 2010 at 9:12 am
Shavonne Jereb, East Bend, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I totally know the author of this =3 I love you girly <3 And this piece is amazing thank you for writing it! So emotional. It really took me to a new world.

-Missy- BRONZE said...
on May. 2 2010 at 8:26 pm
-Missy- BRONZE, Ahhh, South Dakota
1 article 0 photos 75 comments
Great use of vocabulary. It was very descriptive too. My favorite part was "I looked into the sky and saw the ash that shaded the sunlight." Like I said before, very good with description.

on May. 2 2010 at 7:20 pm
--LoveHappens--, Fairfield, Connecticut
0 articles 0 photos 343 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A friend is someone who knows you, but loves you anyway"

Wow I really loved that. The description was so vivid and I could feel the emotion you were conveying. Great job and please take a look at some of my work and leave a comment on The Pretty One tahnks so much!!!!!

on May. 2 2010 at 3:17 pm
Kandabear SILVER, East Bend, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I went insane from long intervals of sanity." - Edgar Allan Poe
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say but what we are unable to say." - Unknown
"You must say drunk on writing so that reality can not destory you." - Ray Bradbury

Haha. Well thank you. I want the emotion of my work to get across to my readers.

on May. 2 2010 at 3:16 pm
Kandabear SILVER, East Bend, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I went insane from long intervals of sanity." - Edgar Allan Poe
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say but what we are unable to say." - Unknown
"You must say drunk on writing so that reality can not destory you." - Ray Bradbury

No worries. I deff agree with you. I kind of dropped with the vocabulary as I got further along. That happens to me a lot. But I hope you enjoyed the over all piece.

on May. 2 2010 at 2:29 pm
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

Great.  Loved the vocabulary, really descriptive.  The only thing I could say about this is that it seemed like you were using more and bigger vocab in the beggining than in the end.  I think it sort of makes the piece a little lop-sided.  I'm not one to talk though- I do that a lot too.




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