Kreative Writing

May 15, 2017

I wake up to the alarm on my phone. I reach over, but instead of hitting my phone to hit the snooze, I accidentally knock over a picture frame. Since when did I have a picture on my bedside table? I rub my eyes and look and pick up the frame. I look to see what it is. I see a picture of the Kardashians, but when they were little. What the heck? I think to myself.  I look up and realize I am not in my bedroom. Where am I? What is going on? I pull my phone out of the charger and realize that my phone is a lot bigger than I realized. The lock screen is no longer the picture of LBI instead it is a picture of marble. I must be dreaming. I pinch myself. Nothing happens. I run into the bathroom, my brain has no idea where I am going, but my legs do. They take me into a huge bathroom. As soon as I get in there, I am shocked to not find myself staring back at me, but instead I see Khloe Kardashian. What is going on? I have to wake up. This is crazy. I run the water in the sink and throw some on my, meaning Khloe’s face. Nothing is happening, how can I wake myself- My thoughts are interrupted by the sounds of feet coming up stairs. “Khloe, we’re here” I hear someone yell. What the heck, who is here? I walk out of the bathroom and into the main hallway. I realize that it is Jen and Andrew, Khloe’s hair and makeup people. Ummmm what do I say, they are going to know I’m not Khloe, what do I say back to them? Think, what would Khloe say? “Hey, I thought you weren’t coming until later.”
“You told me to be here at eight, it’s 8:05, we’re late. You said you needed to be out by 9:30 to go to Kim’s so Kris could pick you up for lunch.” Andrew says.
“Right, yeah,” I mutter. All I could think was that I was going to meet Kim Kardashian. I was going to her house to be picked up be Kris to go to lunch with them.
“Let’s go get hair and makeup started!” Jen leads me back into my bathroom where she pulls a chair out of the closet. She lays at all of her makeup. “So, I saw your outfit today, it’s very casual, so we are going to do a very natural look,” she says.
“And for, hair, long and straight.” Andrew continues.
“Okay,” I agree. My outfit is picked out already? How come they’ve seen it and I haven’t. I realize that Khloe’s outfit must have been picked out by her stylist. Man life is good to be rich, I think.
After what feels like for every, Andrew says, “Done. Time to get dressed.” Somehow, my legs know how to get to the closet. I see jeans, a shirt, and boots laid out on the island in the middle. I put them on, being careful not to mess up my hair or makeup. I grab my phone and realize that it is 9:45. Wasn’t I supposed to leave at 9:30, I thought. Yes, I was. Oh my gosh, I need to go. I walk back into the bathroom to see that Jen and Andrew had already cleaned up. “We know you need to go, so we’ll walk out with you,” Jen says. Wait, I was supposed to drive to Kim’s. I don’t know how to drive, where are my keys? How am I going to do this?
“Can you just drive me to Kim’s?” I ask them, “I can’t find my keys and to be honest, it’s been too hectic and my mom is picking us up at Kim’s anyway, so can you just drive me?”
“Sure, it’s on our way to Kylie’s shoot. We have to go help her there” Andrew agrees.
“Thank you, I owe you.” We walk out to the cars. Too bad I didn’t have time to roam this house. It is gorgeous… and huge. It would take me hours to go through every room. I’ll have time later. Who knows how long I will have left in Khloe’s body. Before I know it, Andrew is pulling into a driveway of a huge, I mean huge house. I walk up to the the large oak wood front doors that obviously cost a lot of money. Do I ring the doorbell? Wait, there is no doorbell. Maybe I’ll text Kim to let me in.  My hands quickly reach for my phone, and quickly type, in her name. My fingers hit the keys and send the message asking her to let me in. After what seems like hours, but is really only seconds, no one comes to answer the door. I guess I should just let myself in, I was supposed to be here at 9:45, it’s 10:05.  I test to see if the doors are open, and they are. I push open the door. “Kim?” I yell. No answers. Maybe she just can’t hear me. I mean this house is huge. Suddenly, my legs are making their way up the stairs and into a room that seems to be Kim’s bedroom. I see her lying in the large bed in the center. Should I wake her up? I guess, I mean I am late. Kris will probably be here at any moment.  “Kim, ready to go to brunch?” She turns and slowly rises.
“Khloe you, just need to get out of here right now!” she yelled.
“Ok, I’ll be in the kitchen i guess.” I don’t think I have ever run faster in my life nor do I think Khloe has ever run faster in her life. I am sitting in the kitchen for a while and all I can think about is how Kim Kardashian yelled at me. Who can say that. All of a sudden, I hear the front door open.
“Hey, Khlo, where’s Kim?”
“Oh hi Kri-I mean Mom. Kim, she’s asleep.”
“Did you try waking her up?”
“Yeah and she kinda yelled at me.”
“Well, I guess she doesn’t want to come to brunch, so we’ll just go. I’ll drive.”
“Um, ok?” Obviously she got the message not to wake Kim up. I think to myself, but not for too long because my mind quickly changes to the fact that I am going to brunch with Kris Jenner. The whole way there, she asks questions and I try to answer them like Khloe would. I just kept thinking, WWKKD, or  what would Khloe do? We are just pulling into the restaurant when I hear my phone buzz. What could this be now? It says, email from Why is Kim emailing me? I wonder. My eyes quickly skim the email. There is a lot of cursing and evidently she is very angry. All I did was wake her up. Now I know why life being a Kardashian is just so hard.

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