Dear friend,
I don’t know where to even begin with all of this Valentine’s Day madness. I can understand why so many people get all excited about it. It’s a great excuse to get chocolate and pretty gifts, but it seems a bit bizarre. Unfortunately, I believe that these people that go out and buy senseless gifts for each other aren’t actually in love. They always claim to be completely head over heels for one another, but it’s just for show. Take my sister and her boyfriend for example. He slaps her just about every other day and she still stays with him. That is not love.
Sam and Patrick are going to take me to Alice’s house for a singles party. Patrick isn’t technically single, but Brad is still in the closet, so they’ll be at the party pretending to be gay-straight friends. I’m can’t decide what I should give to Sam. I know that we aren’t an item or anything, but she is the most beautiful girl I’ll ever know, and she should not be left giftless on Valentine’s Day. My brother gave me a new mixtape, assuring that it is something I’ll enjoy, so I suppose I should listen to it now.

Sincerely, Charlie