Through the Veins of My Father

January 27, 2011
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I hear them scream for me. They screamed my name so loud that my ears began to ring. They want more from me than I am able to give. Tonight, I’m going to walk out there and give them what I think they want. Tonight, I’m going to give them my all. I have all the support I need and more. I have a sticky clear wire in my ear and it’s tucked behind my neck. I’m wearing the shirt that brings the sweet smell of spring: my father. The sweet cologne I bought him for his 56th birthday. It was a comfort to wear it. I know that my style is constantly mocked because I am a female wearing male clothing. I know that I shouldn’t be wearing men’s cologne. I know that I shouldn’t wear his tie and that I shouldn’t touch his belongings, but let’s face it: he’s not coming back for them.

A man came up behind me and started messaging my shoulders. “You can do this,” he said as he sighed. He was almost more nervous than I was. He spun me to face him. He looked me in the eye and I watched as his eyebrows came together. “You alright?” He asked me, but I couldn’t seem to muster the confidence to answer him. No, I wanted to scream, do I look alright? “Everything will be fine man, you know that.” Nothings ever alright, nothing will ever be alright.

I walked out to the stage and I heard millions of people scream for me. The lights were too bright and everything in front of me was too dark. Although I was sweating, I was too cold. I spun my guitar around my shoulder and I brought the headset microphone to my mouth. I opened my mouth to greet my fans, but nothing came out. Not even a stutter. It broke my heart. I promised myself I’d give it my all tonight. I promised my fans, the day I became famous, that I would always do what I can. But tonight, I didn’t have the energy to try. I didn’t have the energy to be a good role model or someone for my fans to idolize.

Tonight, I was to show my fans what real people are like, what idealization looked like in its ugliest form.
Tonight, I was to show my fans all my pain. And by doing that, I was giving them my all.
I fell to my knees and the stadium was silent at once. I shed a tear and I saw millions of faces turn to the big screen. “I, the one you all look up to and love so much, have nothing left. No hope, no love, no energy.” I heard my own echo. No one dared to make a sound. I heard coughs being muffled and many people shushing each other. My words were too important, too valuable for them and it was crucial that they heard every whimper that I made.
“As you all know, I lost my father last year and tonight is the anniversary of his death and I am here … with all of you. I want every single one of you to know how much you mean to me.” I heard thousands of voices cheering me on. I stood up and I screamed the words of my heart. “I love you all and tonight, you are my father’s spirit. Tonight, you bring him alive and you are the reason I know he is proud of me.”
The lights changed colors and I cooled off, I felt a rush of air as the blood circled my veins and I strummed the first chord of my song.
“This one goes out to everyone who made the effort to come see me tonight. It’s my new song called, ‘Dare You to Move’. I wrote this song because with everything I’ve been through, my friends and family were by my side. We’ve all experienced the horrors of losing a loved one. This is a reminder to help us know that when things get hard, they sure aren’t going get any easier, so do something about it!
“Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be …”

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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Trulie said...
Feb. 2, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Good story!! I love this song!
DawnieRae replied...
Sept. 6, 2013 at 4:19 pm
Good story!! I loved it! I also love love love...this song!!! 
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