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Emotionless

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Hey, Dad.

I’m writing to you again. You never did answer my previous letters. But this time, I’m not telling you to come home or to tell you that I still hate you. This time, I’m only going to ask you some things. How do you feel, now? How did you feel when you left us? How we fell apart? How everything fell apart? How do you feel now, that you’re out in this great wide world? Did you ever think about me or Alphonse? Do you even remember our friend, Winry? When you lay down, how do you sleep at night? Do you even wonder if Al and I are alright? But, do you know what? Al and I are fine. It’s been hard without you by our side. And do you know about all the nights that mom cried? She was hoping you’d come back! She was hoping that you’d return to her! Al and I were hoping you’d come back to make her feel better! You broke mom’s heart and you broke Al and I. That’s not ok, but Al and I are alright now. Back then, you were my hero, but now, that’s just a lost memory. When mom died, Al and I spent so much time learning how to survive, but I’m writing this letter to prove that he and I are still alive. We used to never leave mom’s grave, we sometimes spent nights there. We were cold and hungry, but we couldn’t bring ourselves to do much. Al never said anything, but I never stopped saying how much I hated you. You never were around when we needed you the most. You left us in pieces that I had to try to put back together. If you were with us then, Al and I wouldn’t be the way we are now. We wouldn't have our messed up lives. If only you were there! If you were there, I wouldn’t be taking all my regrets to my grave! I wouldn’t feel so guilty about everything that’s happening! But… this letter isn’t meant to say that I hate you. It wasn’t meant for you to get upset about what’s happened. And… it’s not about how much trouble you’ve caused our family… This letter is about how… I forgive you. And how I miss you. How Al misses you, too. I’m writing this letter, to tell you that he and I are stronger now. That we’re determined to show you that we’re not the little kids you left behind. I’m telling you one thing, old man! I’m telling you that this time I’ll admit that I miss you and forgive you. I hope this time, you’ll write back. That maybe we might actually talk. That maybe, just maybe, we could try to be a family again.

~Edward Elric





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