All Nonfiction Bullying Books Academic Author Interviews Celebrity interviews College Articles College Essays Educator of the Year Heroes Interviews Memoir Personal Experience Sports Travel & CultureAll Opinions Bullying Current Events / Politics Discrimination Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking Entertainment / Celebrities Environment Love / Relationships Movies / Music / TV Pop Culture / Trends School / College Social Issues / Civics Spirituality / Religion Sports / Hobbies
- Summer Guide
- College Guide
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Personal Experience
- Travel & Culture
- Current Events / Politics
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
- Community Service
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
The Guardian; Chapter Two
The only person Edward needed to be sheltered from right now was me. And if anyone was up for the duty of protector, it was me. But, in some ways it would be easier for me to protect Edward if he knew about me. But I had to encourage myself into thinking that I was I was just being self-centered. That took some hard work and commitment. But after several lengthy, agonizing minutes, I was convinced that I wouldn’t tell him, not today anyway. I looked out on the sunny, autumn day; it was beautiful, truly beautiful.
I could hear Elizabeth and Edward talking about rules from miles down the road, it seemed she had to take him to the doctor’s office for an injection and was walking him home. She had to go to the grocery store, but didn’t want to bring Edward, the reason being because he was not in the finest mood as a result of the visit with Dr. Albert. She planned to leave him home unaccompanied, and was explaining the set of laws to him for the fourth time in twenty minutes.
Edward would be safe from himself and me while Elizabeth was out. This wasn’t his first time being left home alone; he was sharp enough to watch after himself. He had always been bright for his age. He made the best grades in his group of students, especially when it came to music. Edward had taken a fondness to the piano a little over a year ago, being something his mother also liked to play, and she taught him. He was still learning, but he knew just about everything there was to know about a single instrument.
While Elizabeth encouraged him to follow his heart with the piano, his father was a different story. Edward Senior was still trying to get Edward to try out for baseball, his much loved sport as a child. But when it came to exercise instruction, the only one Edward cared for was track. He liked to run, and he was good at it. He hadn’t been cursed with tremendous awkwardness like I had been while I was human. He was a quick runner, and a artistic piano player. His father’s attempts at trying other activities, activities that were more for a young man in his mind, were of no use.
Edward and Elizabeth were almost in the driveway now, so I swiftly closed Edward’s bedroom window, where I spent the majority of my time. It had become very cold in the room, with the wintry temperature outside; and I mentally scolded myself for my lack of thought. Now Edward would have to sleep in a cold twin bed tonight. I ran around the room picking up the things I had gotten out. I liked to amuse myself with some of Edward’s toys while he was out and about. They were all simple toys that I played with, though he had countless costly new models also. Edward Senior was a practiced and well known lawyer in the town of Chicago. The richest men the world had to offer would ask him to be their lawyer, and with that approval came a big take-home pay. Edward had heard the word “no” a small number of times in his early life, maybe that wasn’t such a healthy thing. But, I don’t think I could refuse that adorable face anything no matter how expensive it was.
As I was placing his blocks back under his bed, I seen something I had not noticed before. It was a paper, folded into a messy square. I, at a snail’s pace, reached out for it, not sure what it could be. I unfolded it to expose some messy scrawl; Edward’s. It was suppose to be a poem, maybe a story, about the… darkness? It was hard to make out some of the words, he had only just began to write, but it read; hello darkness, please don’t find me. Leave me alone, stay away. I don’t feel safe when you are near me.
It broke my heart that Edward was fearful of the dark. But it was not a bolt from the blue to me. Edward’s mother would light a candle for him when he went to bed, but blew it out after he was asleep. Didn’t she realize that he would wake up at some point in the night to use the bathroom or get a drink and be alone in the dark? Of course he wouldn’t really be alone, but alone in his mind. He would cry, and cry, and cry some more, until he just cried himself to sleep. I wanted to light the candle for him again, but that wouldn’t be a good idea. What I really wanted to do was take him in my arms and carry him to the outhouse with only the moon and stars to guide us, but again, it was unattainable. If only he knew me, if he knew I was there watching him. Maybe if he knew I was always there, maybe he wouldn’t feel so frightened. I wanted to execute his father when he would hear him crying and do nothing about it. I wanted to ring his neck so desperately, that sometimes I would find myself ringing the neck of one of Edward’s numerous teddy bears.
I heard an intake of breath, and it wasn’t mine. It was Edward. He was standing in the doorway as still as stone. He was breathing, but only just. And his heart was hammering out of his chest, as was mine. I didn’t know what to say or think. What would he do? What would Elizabeth think? It was a benefit that Elizabeth had already left on her way, and that I would have a moment or two to work this out to the best of my ability. I released the paper and stood up straight, but I think I could have done it with a little more elegance. He just kept stare at me. He turned around like any body with common sense would, and began to run down the hallway. I seized him up in my arms gently and carried him back into the bedroom with my hand securely over his mouth before he could scream. I made sure to shut the door tightly behind me, even though no one was home. He continued to jerk and thrash in my arms.
I placed him on the disheveled bed, and started to speak sensitively to him. My first words spoken to him where not what I had planned. “Shhhh…Shhhh…It’s alright. There is no need to cry, or be upset. I’m not going to hurt you; I only want to be your friend.”
I stopped speaking because he stopped stirring. He was breathing like mad from all of the physical exertion he had been putting out. I saw the tears start to form in his lovely green eyes, and I thought I could hear my heart break. I had made the object of my world cry, I had to be the most horrible, evil, and nastiest person on the planet and beyond.
He unhurriedly reached up and put his tiny hand on top of mine, that was still covering his mouth, not in a powerful way, but in a fragile, harmless way. I let him remove my hand from his face, knowing he wasn’t going to yell. He just straightened himself up until he was sitting on the bed looking at me. He didn’t seem to be so worried anymore, but he was clever, and he knew I wasn’t cruel. I reached up as slowly as I could with as bad of a longing it was, and brushed the tears that had fell from his eyes away. His skin felt so pleasant, so supple. I had never touched him before, unless you count holding him down and my hand being place over his mouth. I leaned away from him a bit, not wanting to make him ill at ease. He looked at my face, taking in my picture perfect facial appearance.
Then Edward did something I didn’t expect. He reached up, not hesitant at all, and placed his small hand on my cheek, caressing it. The way his eyes were burning into mine was incredible, it was like a fantasy. A dream I had never even dreamed would come true, but had. I had gotten precisely what I wanted, for him to know about me, but that didn’t imply I could continue with him. There was still the factor of him letting my being out, even though he didn’t know what I was exactly. He must be able to make the distinction between the two of us. It was always apparent to me that I was not human, but I wondered sometimes if it appeared that way to everyone else. No one really seemed to perceive it, or at least no one commented on it.
The world was still such a strange place to me, a horrifying place, filled with cruelty and hatred. But, here in this moment with Edward, I failed to remember all of those hate filled people. If Edward wouldn’t tell, it would be a dream come true. But how was I supposed to ask him to keep me a mystery? Maybe he didn’t think there was anything wrong with a unfamiliar person being in his room. But how was I supposed to know what he sincerely thinks of me? I won’t, not yet.
He didn’t say anything to me for a time, but his tiny fingers started to outline the features of my face. My lips, eyes, nose, eyebrows, cheeks, they were all his to have and to hold. But finally, after more minutes than I cared enough to count, he spoke to me in a quiet voice. “Why would you want to be my friend?” What a peculiar question. Why didn’t he ask me something that would seem more relevant to the circumstances, like maybe… why are you in my room? Yes, that would be a good one. But I wouldn’t know how to respond to it, but the question he had asked me was painless enough to put in plain words.
I spoke to him in a careful tone, not wanting to scare him. “Because you seem like someone who would make a good friend for someone like me.” That was not a lie. If there was anyone on the planet and beyond that could make me happy, it was Edward. He looked a little bewildered by my reply, but he quickly caught on to what my words really meant.
“What do you mean? What do you mean when you say someone like me?” Was it typical for him to ask so many questions? I had to remind myself that he was only a child, and that there would probably be further questions to come. More questions that I had to tell half truths for. Since we were on the subject matter of me, I thought I should throw in something about my secret, too.
”Well, Edward, when I say someone like me, I mean… that I’m not like you. I’m not …the same as you are. It’s hard to explain to you, but you’ll just have to trust me on this. It would be a bad thing if you told anyone about me.” I had gone too far, told him too much. Now what? Would he run from me again? Perhaps I would let him go this time. But he stayed right where he was, his fingers continued to trace my face. Did he not care about himself at all? Once more, I had to remind myself that he was only a small youngster, but he wouldn’t want to see me when he got mature.
He looked shocked, then wary. I was troubled about what he was going to say next, but it turned out to be the smallest amount of my worries. “How did you know my name?” I had missed the fact that I had called him by his name, but it was not that big of a chink in the chain. The paper that had wrote the poem on, just so happened to be the same paper he had decided to perform writing his name on. I wish I could ask him to tell me more about the dark, and then let him know that I would be with him always. But, that would just have to wait for another day, if I got another day.
“I read it on your paper, the one about the darkness. It had your name on it. And also, I spend an enormous deal of time here in your room, and so I would have to be sightless and def not to know your name.” I stopped myself there, not wanting to go any further. But I had a good feeling that Edward would keep my little secret, that he wouldn’t tell a lone soul. If I couldn’t depend on Edward, who would I depend on? He looked taken aback, but not afraid the way I thought he could be. His fingers moved down to my neck, tracing shapes of flowers and hearts.
“You have been here more than this time? How many?” I already told him that I was a secret, and that I am here a lot, so why not go all the way? If Edward did happen to tell on me, then I would just make sure to stay back and let him live his life, not including me. I questioned how long it would take to have the humans put the pieces together. Would they ever make the link of the person the neighbors often saw in the window of this very room and the one Edward would argue to have met?
Now and then, a neighbor would be out in the early morning or late evening, just as the sun was setting or rising, and catch a glimpse of me in the window sill, where I usually kept watch over Edward. Of course, they would come knocking on the front door, just to have Elizabeth or Edward Senior tell them that nothing was there, after they had come up and checked the room and closet for an intruder. But it happened less often now, because the people who claimed to have seen something in the window were thought of as crazy from that point on. They weren’t, but I was for coming back.
I had come up with a respectable answer to Edward’s question, and I wished it wouldn’t frighten him. Maybe a good terror was exactly what he needed, maybe that was what I could do for him, make him see me clearly. With a deep sigh, I looked directly into his eyes, and prepared myself to face my last few moments with him.