All Nonfiction Bullying Books Academic Author Interviews Celebrity interviews College Articles College Essays Educator of the Year Heroes Interviews Memoir Personal Experience Sports Travel & CultureAll Opinions Bullying Current Events / Politics Discrimination Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking Entertainment / Celebrities Environment Love / Relationships Movies / Music / TV Pop Culture / Trends School / College Social Issues / Civics Spirituality / Religion Sports / Hobbies
- Summer Guide
- College Guide
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Personal Experience
- Travel & Culture
- Current Events / Politics
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
- Community Service
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
Hercules meets Old Spice meets Hell's Kitchen meets Staples meets Pirates of the Carribean
Meg walked down the beach, her purple dress flowing behind her in the breeze. No one ever came to this part of Greece, so she had it all to herself.
After a while, she heard a crunching sound, like sand beneath feet. She turned around, only to find that it wasn't feet making the sound, but hooves. Her eyes traveled up from the ground, taking in the horse's white legs, white body, and white head. On the horse, there was a muscular, dark- skinned man.
Jeez, this man is hopelessly confused, Meg thought. She flipped her dark, curly tresses, and sauntered over to the man.
“So, do you have a name along with those rippling pectorals?” Meg asked suggestively.
“Did you know I’m riding this horse backwards?!” the man replied with a deep, seductive voice.
This guy’s really lost his marbles, Meg thought.
“Yes, I happened to notice that. May I ask why you are riding this horse backwards?”
Before he could answer, the ground split between Meg and the man on his horse. Being the cool, calm, and collected girl she was, Meg put on a bored expression. She knew what was going to happen next.
“Meg! How you doing, huh? Hey, who’s this guy? Woah, woah, woah, what’s this guy’s problem?” said the man who popped out of the ground. He was blue skin, with sharp teeth and other unattractive features. He was clothed in a black robe and, most unusually of all, had blue flames for hair. Meg, however, was used to that.
She blocked out Hades rant about what a nutjob this muscle-y dude was, examining her nails. She mentally rolled her eyes. Hades was a real piece of work.
“Well, whatever. Hey, Meg, sweetcheecks. I need your help. I’ve been doing come cooking in my kitchen, but-.” Hades was interrupted by the man on the horse, who burst out into hysterical fits of laugher. Only then did I realize he was holding a bottle of body wash.
“What? What’s so funny? Did I miss something? Is my hair out?” Hades asked.
The man couldn’t answer, he just simply pointed behind Hades. When we both looked, it was none other than Gordon Ramsay standing there. Meg face- palmed.
“Hell’s Kitchen,” she muttered to Hades. He, also, performed a face- palm.
“Ah, whatever. I’m done with this. Are you done with this? Come on Meg, let’s go.” Hades had a way of droning on when he talked. He snapped his fingers, and they were gone.
They appeared, moments later, in what looked like a store. Meg spotted a sign that said “Staples”.
Hades said, “Whoops. Wrong place. We’d better get outta here before-.”
But it was too late. He was cut off by someone loudly exclaiming, “WOW! THAT’S A LOW PRICE!”
“Did someone say something about a low price?” Another man strode over to the proclaimer of low prices, and he then, also, exclaimed, “WOW! THAT IS A LOW PRICE!”
Just then, Meg spotted someone. He was dressed in a puffy white shirt and a brown vest. His boots clicked across the floor as he walked flamboyantly to a wall of assorted scissors. His brown dreadlocks framed his dirty face as he looked intently at the wall with brown eyes that she recognized in an instant. His beat- up pirate hat completed his look.
“Oh, my gosh Hades. Hide me!” Meg exclaimed, jumping behind Hades.
“What? What is it?” Hades asked, looking around. Even in that worrisome moment, she couldn’t help but think why people weren’t staring at Hades’ flaming blue hair.
“Over there- don’t look! It’s my ex- boyfriend. The one I sold my soul to you for!” Meg whispered. “Snap your fingers! Now! Snap them!”
To Meg’s horror, Hades simply strode over to Meg’s ex- boyfriend, Jack.
“Noooooo!!” Meg screamed, and ran toward them.
Meg woke up in a cold sweat, upright in bed. She looked to her left, relieved to see the sheet moving up and down due to Hercules’ breathing. She sighed, and put her head in her hands and massaged her temples.
“What’s wrong, hun?” Meg saw the person next to her spring up from the bed, only to find that it was, once again, none other than Gordon Ramsay.
Meg screamed again.