Without Wings Chapter 1 -- A Maximum Ride Story

April 11, 2010
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Twigs whipped across my face, but I didn’t care. I was running, away from the white-coats. They had captured me. The flock was safe; or so I hoped.

“There she is,” I heard someone shout. I wished that I could have flown out of there, but they had done something to my wings. I couldn’t feel them anymore. They probably numbed them so I couldn’t escape. But I did anyway. Sucks for them.

“Max, stop!” I shivered as I heard Jeb call for me. He had betrayed us, again. He had said that he needed help, but when we came he had an ambush set up. I was able to hold them off long enough for the flock to get out. The flock was waiting for me, back at Lake Mead.

I kept running until I came up to a wall. It was climbable, but it had guard towers every fifty yards. It would be pretty tricky to not get seen. I started climbing, and I reached the top in a minute. There was barbed wire on the top. I jump off the wall, trying to unfurl my wings.

It didn’t work. I slammed into the ground, spraining, maybe even breaking, my ankle. I tried to get my wings out again, but I couldn’t. I reached my hand back, trying to feel my wings. What I didn’t feel was what terrified me. My wings were gone.

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Coolguy69 said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 9:39 am
This is a very good piece. It could be a bit longer but it really grabs my attention. If you continue to write more chapters, maybe make them a bit longer. Otherwise great job.
arctic121 said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 7:21 pm
oh my can you put the 3rd chap
brainiac said...
Nov. 23, 2011 at 5:05 pm
OMG!?! How'd Max lose those beautiful wings? She'd never be the same.
TheNovaClytie said...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 3:17 pm

oh no! a max without wings isn't max at all!

what i want to know, tho, is what Fang is gunna do to help her feel better about it ;) they're my favorite!

AeroRyuu said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 8:39 pm
This was very well written. You definately got the James Patterson/Max tone down very well. The only thing that I would say is you should try to make your chapters longer (if you haven't done so already). Other than that, great work.
WickedStarcatcher said...
Jul. 14, 2010 at 10:13 am

This was a really awesome fanfic! I just have a couple of suggestions. I think you should go into greater detail about how Max got there. I know you explain, but maybe you should turn that into a seperate scene. I liked the tone as well as the voice of the story. Keep writing!

Fly On!


DamonSalvatore1864 replied...
Oct. 19, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Yeah, I agree. Other than that, great job and keep writing!
Supernova7 said...
May 20, 2010 at 11:57 pm
This was nicely written good job:)
elizabethlaura said...
May 20, 2010 at 8:16 pm
this is such an interesting story :) great job!
DanceAway This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 20, 2010 at 5:25 pm
I love the series, and this is really good!
Drama_Queen13 said...
May 16, 2010 at 2:33 pm
I LOVE MAXIMUM RIDE!!! She's my idol and I just finished Fang and I miss it SO much! But this was INCRIDBLE! You should enter it in that James Patterson writing contest
Fangstorm replied...
Mar. 13, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Listen, dramaqueen.

ANGEL (the seventh book, after Fang) IS SO #$%^&* SCREWED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!

DestinysAgent said...
May 6, 2010 at 11:14 pm
I actually never read the series, but your writing has now got me interested!  Nice work!
JacobC replied...
May 11, 2010 at 6:52 am
It is a great series.  I definately recommend that you read it.
Starfire said...
Apr. 19, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Lol my friend next to me is crazy about Maximum Ride! She said you did somewhat of a very good job. But I would say you did wonderful. Very nice. lol even though I've never read the books. lol But still good. *Stares at my fan-girl friend*
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