Bing. The doors graze open. The stunning brunette strolls into the elevator, while checking her reflection on her compact mirror. Stroking her soft lips while applying on a shimmering lipstick, Sarah Jessica Parker extends her ear to listen to the faint music that is growing louder and louder. Do do do doot. Do do do doot. A man comes skipping into the elevator. Do do do doot. Do do do doot. He enters on the left side of the elevator.
“Hey baby, shall we shag no or shag later?”
“Ew!” she squeaked.
“Hey, I am a sexy beast,” the man whispers in her ear. They hear a deafening crash.
“Bloody hell,” Ron Weasly cries out. Clutching his face in both hands, he stumbles into the elevator. “Oh no! Platform 9 and ¾ is closed; mum’s going to kill me!”
“What’s the matter Hun?” Sarah leans over to place a hand on Ron’s back, turning towards Austin Powers and says, “Do something this boy is upset.”
“Hey you shagadelic young man, its time to swing baby.”
“Swing?” Ron looks confused.
“I never got a proper introduction gentleman. I am Sarah Jessica Parker,” she smiles at Austin.
“Whoa!” Austin’s eyes bulge out of his head, and stares, just stares.
“Nice to mole you…meet you. Nice to meet you, Mole.” Ron shoves Austin, “Don’t say mole.”
“Now stop,” Ron yells at Austin.
“I said mole,” Austin was upset with himself now.
“Stop”
“Get me out of this elevator!” Sarah starts slamming the button, hoping the elevator doors will spring open.
“Mole.”
“Oh, shut the bloody hell up!” Ron’s face turns bright read, from embarrassment for Sarah.
“Moley, moley, moley, moley, moley!” she looks at Austin with disgust. “Mole. Bloody mole. We aren’t supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but there’s a bloody mole winking me in the face. I want to c-u-u-t it off, c-h-o-o-p it off, and make guacamole.” A black shaggy spider scampered across the floor.
“EEK!” Ron squeaks like a little girl, and huddles in the corner.
“SP-PAH, SP-PP-IDER” trembling and heaving back and forth, terrified of the minuscule spider. Ron starts whispering to himself. Austin and Sarah both glace at each other; Austin still distracted by the enormous mole on Sarah’s chin. Bing. The elevator doors spring open. Sarah jumps out of the elevator and saunters off down the hall. Austin begins whistling Do do do doot. Do do do doot. Bing. The doors close, leaving Ron clustered in the corner still in shock of the gross hairy spider.