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Trapped in an Elevator

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“Tell me boy, you ever been eaten by a shark befo?” asked the Kangol wearing Samuel Jackson.
“No, but I once summoned a demon girl with black wings. Her eyes were red as the devil but her love was hot as a jalapeno,” said the shirtless, black leather pants wearing Glenn Danzig.
“Uh-huh. Well that’s a load of bull.”
“You wanna start something? Cause it’s going down!”
The elevator stopped to let a third person inside. He-Man, wearing a furry loincloth and metal breastplate, stormed on in. With each step, the elevator shook with ferocity.
“I am Adam, prince of Eternia and defender of the secrets of castle Grey Skull, but you probably know me as He-Man,” he said while holding his hand out for a friendly handshake to Samuel Jackson.
“What country you from He-Man?” said Samuel.
“What?”
“What ain’t no country I ever heard of! They speak English in what?”
Suddenly the elevator dropped a few stories down. The three passengers may have well been in a plane with turbulence.
“Whoa! Mother! What a rush,” yelled Danzig. “Here. I’ll use my steel muscles to pry open this door!” But it was no use.
“Here. Let me try, BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!!!!” He-man shouted. But his effort was no use.
“Don’t jive me! I am not stuck on this elevator with you two motha’s!” said Samuel.
“I know! We can summon a demon to get us out!’ said Danzig.
“Excuse me? I don’t remember asking you a damn thing Satan boy!” said Samuel.
“Hey, I am not a Satanist.”
He-Man thought to himself for a minute and got an idea. He took out his magic sword. “I can shatter the door with my magic blade!” he said. He-man swung at the door and put a few dents in it.
“Oh c’mon jive turkey!” said Samuel.
“Hold on…just a few…more… swings!”
“No pressure. No pressure, you ain’t any misfit” Danzig said “Just feel the power of a great demon, empowering you to-“
“Ok. I have had with these motha flippin’ idiots on this motha flippin’ elevator!” interrupted Samuel. He then charged at the door and burst through the other side.
“Well I guess we’re free. So today we learned something. It can be hard working with other people, but sometimes, it’s necessary to communicate and befriend others and work together for a greater good” said He-man.
“Man…morals always make me cry. Thank you He-man” said Danzig with tears rolling down his eyes. “We will meet again!”





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Kim Lec said...
Jan. 17, 2015 at 6:14 am
I love this. Probably a lot closer to the truth than anyone will ever know. Keep writing. It had me laughing out loud the whole way through. You'll end up writing for comedy for a living if you're already this good.
 
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