Trapped in an Elevator

March 29, 2010
By Anonymous

“Buttonsch,” says a furry, obnoxious sloth with a lisp. “Why are there scho many? I want to push them all.”
“Ew gross, who are you?” says Ke$ha with her fake, blonde hair while snapping her bubble gum.
“Just call me Sid, Lord of the elevatorsch.”
“Tik tok, on the clock, let’s go here. I’ve got better things to do,” says Ke$ha as she impatiently passes in the elevator.
“Just wait a minute,” says Jack Johnson. “Calm down, we all have better things to do than be trapped here for 13 more floors. Thanks to Sid.”
“Schorry fellasch,” says Sid.
“Sorry doesn’t mean anything to me. I have a recording session to be at with Flo-Rida in Los Angeles in one hour. I can’t be late,” says Ke$ha in a sassy tone.
“Why doesn’t anybody care about Schid the schloth?” says Sid pouting in the corner of the elevator.
“Well I’m just sitting, waiting, wishing I wasn’t here with…” says Jack Johnson.
“Blah, blah, blah, blah,” Says Ke$ha.
“Aw, you schay that, but you don’t mean it,” says Sid as if he forgot that nobody cares.
“This is like the longest like elevator ride of my life,” says Ke$ha who is about to smother Sid the sloth. “I wish I would have like taken the stairs or something. That way I like wouldn’t have to like deal with you guys.”
“Do you think that you’re not alone?” says Jack Johnson who has heard enough of Ke$ha’s whining.
Three floors left. Sid is stumbling around the elevator excited to get out. As clumsy as he is, he loses his balance and again hits a few extra buttons.
“Uh, I am not alone, obviously. This aggravating, smelly sloth is like corrupting my day. I am going to be like late for my recording.”
“Don’t let her impale me. I wanna live!” says Sid who is cowering in the fetal position.

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