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Harry lily & James potter finally meet

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Chapter 1
“James, do you think that Serious Black is watching Harry for us?”
“I don’t know maybe Lily, I mean it has been 21 years since we last saw him.”




Meanwhile at Harry & Ginny’s house
“Morning, Ginny.”
“Morning, Harry.”
“Where’s the kids we’re going to be late.”
“Upstairs, still getting ready.”
“James, Lily, Albus, come on we’re going to be late if we don’t leave soon.”
“Coming.”

The Potters left for platform nine and three quarters. They met Ron, Hermoine, and Rose when they arrived. The kids took off to go have some fun before the train leaves. Harry’s scar starts to burn but he ignores it. Suddenly He-Who-Can’t-Be-Named appeared to finish off Harry for good.

“Harry get the kids, we’ll keep him distracted.”

Harry went to get the kids, when he did they begged him not to go. He tried to tell them that their parents were in danger and he needed to help them. They wouldn’t let him leave, so finally they watched as Harry fought to protect them. After the fight was over Lily went over to tell them that someone was here to talk to them. They all went to see who it was.

“Who are you, what do you want?”
“Don’t tell me that you forgot about me already.”
“Professor is that you?”
“Yes Ronald it is.”
“Dumbledore oh it is so good to see you.”
The kids got onto the train and Serious came into the room that they were in. Their parents and Dumbledore were on their way to Harry’s and Ginny’s house to talk over tea. On the way out of the train they met Hagrid who is the grounds keeper at Hogwarts.
"Hi ya kids, it seems like just yesterday that your parents started school here."
"Hey Lily watch out for Snape and Malfoy."
"Oh I will, I'm not scared of Snape or Malfoy."
"Albus come on don't be a scaredy cat. We don't have all night."




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This article has 47 comments. Post your own!

VivaSarcasm said...
May 20, 2011 at 8:22 pm:
And you spelled Sirius wrong. It's not Serious, as  in seriously. It's sirius, as in Sirius Radio. The logo of Sirius is a dog, because the constellation Sirius is of a canine. It explains why Sirius can become a dog. Sirius Black.
 
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VivaSarcasm said...
May 20, 2011 at 8:19 pm:
I liked the theme but it doesn't really make any sense...?
 
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Mrs.FredWeasley said...
Feb. 28, 2011 at 9:31 pm:
I was really confused with this piece. You seem to understand the relationships between the different characters, but the plot and dialogue is a bit off. Try to clean it up a little and add some more descriptive language and I think that you could turn this into something really great! Keep writing-the more you write, the better your writing becomes! :)
 
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AnimalGirl said...
Jan. 15, 2011 at 3:47 pm:
um, this was good, confusing, but good. and how do all of the charicters came back? most of the charicters you names are dead, and have been dead. can you explain? and the storyline needs to be a little more abvious. it was hard to fallow. and have you read the books?
 
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Synestria said...
Dec. 24, 2010 at 1:16 pm:

Hey.  You've got a great idea there, but there are a few error both grammatically and story-wise.  A few tips:

1.  Explain why and how the already-dead characters came back to life.  Perhaps one of Voldemort's underlings brought him back to life somehow.

2.  Read the books, please.  Again if you already have.

3.  Fix the choppy story-line.  If writing something out in story form is hard for you, create a... (more »)

 
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Jessica_Twine said...
Oct. 19, 2010 at 8:02 pm:
It was very choppy. I like the idea that you were trying to get, but it was very confusing
 
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ThatClarinetPerson said...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 7:35 pm:
ditto, diamondsinthegrass. also, "serious"?
 
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DiamondsIntheGrassThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 6, 2010 at 1:26 pm:
just as contructive critisism, none of this makes sense.
 
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kielymarie said...
Aug. 15, 2010 at 4:26 pm:
Very choppy, doesn't relate to the book, lots of grammar errors. This needs work.
 
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zezasister said...
Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:43 am:
I didn't really like this fanfiction... but you know just go over it a little. i think its ok 2 have written it the way u did cuz it doesnt have to be the way the books go but it needs a good grammar check! otherwize its pretty good.
 
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highflyer101 said...
May 18, 2010 at 10:50 pm:
Ok, not only are like half the characters in this dead, so is the writing! I mean, for the fight scene, actually WRITE about the fight, and it can't be so calm afterwards. You have no grammar skills either! This isn't IM! I was just bored the entire time. It was just bad. Sorry!
 
highflyer101 replied...
May 23, 2010 at 3:00 pm :
If you contact me through one of my other stories, I wrote a revised version of this for you, so, if you want any ideas...
 
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TaKeN_FoR_LiFe_42410 said...
May 15, 2010 at 4:45 pm:
This was not that good....i agree with everone else, you need to read the books then write this cause you messed up...! I am sorry if that is mean to say but it is also true..!
 
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dant3 said...
May 6, 2010 at 7:10 pm:
wow. don't write fan fiction if you have never read the books. Lily and James are dead. Sirius is dead. Dumbledore is dead. and you completely left out hugo, Ron and Hermionie's other child. and thats not even mentioning all the gramatical errors and akward writing style. 
 
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Alexye This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 26, 2010 at 5:07 pm:
I was excited to read this story when I saw it was a Harry Potter fanfiction. Then, I read it. It is without doubt the worst fanfiction I have ever read. You need to fix your grammar and check your facts from the book. Also, please stop alternating between writing it like it's a screen play and like it's a story.
 
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KentuckyJohnWall11 said...
Apr. 22, 2010 at 9:13 pm:

Nice writing style, but did you even read the books, a bunch of these people should not be seen beacause...

They is dead

 
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kikigirl101 said...
Apr. 4, 2010 at 10:49 am:
Yea, sorry I agree with everyone else, this was really weirdly written and it didn't follow any of the books. It was confusing too and some background information would have been greatly appreciated and very much needed. Your writing style is good but it just didn't make much sense to me! Sorry.
 
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Drama_Queen13 said...
Mar. 13, 2010 at 6:01 pm:
I'm sorry, this really makes no sense.
 
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Ally25 said...
Mar. 13, 2010 at 3:50 pm:
Hey! This was...ok. But verry confusing..and diden't corespond with the books...and some back round info would have been nice.. the way it was writen was ok though. Keep writing.
 
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alice! said...
Mar. 11, 2010 at 9:16 am:
Confusing.. very confusing..! Doesn't amek sense..1
 
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