I grasped the hospital door. It was cold. The door was heavy, almost as heavy as my thoughts were that day. I had no idea what to expect when I walked into the hospital, but I proceeded bravely through the door. The walls were bright white and the whole hospital smelled of bleach. As I walked through the halls I saw happy faces, but mostly sad faces. I took my time walking up to the room you were staying in because I did not want to face the inevitable, you were dying, and I was scared. I had never lived without you and I wasn't ready to start. This is the reason I took my time when I walked to the room, but as I got closer my heart started to beat faster and my palms were sweaty, and as I reached your room I saw the whole family. They made us put on a smock and a mask because they didn't want us to get sick, but I didn't care about the smock, all I cared about was saying goodbye. Grandma was standing over you and there were tears in her eyes. When she saw me she ran up to me and gave me a huge hug. She told me I had to be strong, but I couldn't be. I loved you, and you were my hero, and I never thought in my whole life I would have to watch my hero die. You always told me that you would dance with my at my wedding, but you never will be able to. The thought that you would not be there to watch me grow up came into my mind when I touched your hand. You knew I was there but you could not respond because you were in pain, struggling to breath, but you griped my hand. At that moment I wanted to cry, but I couldn't because you always told me not to cry, because crying was for babies, and I was no longer a baby. So I held beck my tears and leaned over and told you I loved you. At that very moment the heart monitor reached zero and you were with God. Everyone in the room let out a gasp but I stayed quite and I left the room. I walked out the doors and for the first time in four years I cried. I cried because the only person who ever believed in me was gone, and I was going to have to go through life alone. But I guess that's how life goes, we loose people and we have to learn to live without them. Sure I could learn to live without you but I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to loose the dinners you made for me and grandma, the weakly movie nights. I wasn't ready to call and not be able to hear you voice. I miss your smile and how even though I was a girl you thought I could do anything a boy could do. You taught me how to shoot a gun and defend myself. You told me I could do anything and I will always cherish the words of wisdom you gave me. I will always hold you close to my heart. R.I.P Grandpa Sam, My hero.
March 2, 2009