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HaKcA: I know you’re there.
HaKcA: Quit messing with my computer.
HaKcA: Seriously, man, I can’t even get on Internet Explorer.
HaKcA: Knock it off.
HaKcA: I know you’re there.
HaKcA: I traced the virus. It’s amazing what I can make this thing do.
HaKcA: I know you’re on your computer.
HaKcA: Quit with the virus.
Spydor: What if I don’t want to?
HaKcA: So you can understand English.
HaKcA: Why are you attacking my computer?
Spydor: To see if I can.
HaKcA: Well, I think you’ve found out. Take it off.
HaKcA: Who are you?
Spydor: Black Widow. Who are you?
HaKcA: Black Widow? Nice name. It sounds like something made up by a 35 year old living in his mother’s basement. You know exactly who I am. You have access to everything on my hard drive. You could figure it out easily.
Spydor: What if I want an introduction? And I am living in anything but my mothers’ basement.
HaKcA: Too bad, scumbag. I’m not telling you diddly-squat.
Spydor: Alright Amy, we’ll do it your way.
HaKcA: I’m very scared now. I can hear the oven doors clanging shut from here.
Spydor: Do your parents know, Amy?
HaKcA: Oh, yeah, right. I’m just going to go up to my mom and say “Hey mom, did you have a good day at work? Oh, by the way, I can break into my school’s website.”
Spydor: But you don’t stop a school, do you, Amy?
HaKcA: CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!
Spydor: Please stop that.
HaKcA: Oh, so we’re being polite now, are we, Mr. Scummy-Spider?
Spydor: For the moment.
HaKcA: CLANG…! Alright, so what did I do to you?
Spydor: Leave my website alone.
HaKcA: Which one’s yours, Spiderman?
Spydor: See if you can guess.
HaKcA: How did you get the virus on my computer, anyways, Spidey? I’m pretty careful about stuff like that, and my firewall’s practically impenetrable.
Spydor: I didn’t put the virus on. You did, when you hacked my site. I have protection too.
Spydor: Yes. Then all I had to do was find out where it’d gone.
HaKcA: Nice. Very sophisticated. I’m impressed, arachnid. How do I clean it up?
Spydor: Thank you. It’s called Tarantula.
HaKcA: How do I clean it up?
Spydor: You don’t.
HaKcA: There goes Microsoft.
Spydor: Yes. It’s ridiculously easy to crash Bill Gate’s creations.
HaKcA: …And AOL…
HaKcA: …So long, iTunes…
Spydor: Your AIM should be next.
HaKcA: And there it goes.
Spydor: Would you like to know how it works?
HaKcA: Might as well.
Spydor: Originally there was one. Then it made an egg sack. Then they started to feed.
HaKcA: Oh, it’s one of THOSE viruses. You aren’t original, that idea’s been around, under a hundred names, for years. You just polished it up, gave it a catchy nickname, and sent it on its merry way.
Spydor: Basically, yes. But that doesn’t make it less effective.
HaKcA: I hate when people do that.
HaKcA: So how do you feel, Spidey, about destroying a thirteen year old girl’s computer?
Spydor: Not guilty enough to stop the virus.
HaKcA: Hang on just a second; I think I know which website you were!
Spydor: Do tell.
HaKcA: You were the one who-……
Spydor: That would be the computer crashing. I wonder if she’ll ever be able to start it up again?
That was the story of a girl who stuck her nose where it didn’t belong. She changed one too many websites, and paid for it with her hard drive.