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Scene Four MAG
[LAWRENCE and JEROME are sitting on her front steps, eating sandwiches.]
LAWRENCE: Jerome, do you notice anything different about me? I mean, different from other girls.
JEROME: Uh, well. Yeah. I guess so. Several things.
LAWRENCE: No, I was thinking of one specific thing.
JEROME: Uhmmm ... You have a special sense of humor.
LAWRENCE: Physical, Jerome. Think physical.
JEROME: Well, your eyes are sort of an odd color.
LAWRENCE: No, do you give up?
JEROME: OK, sure.
LAWRENCE: My legs, Jerome.
JEROME: What about your legs?
LAWRENCE: I didn't shave them, stupid.
JEROME: You're telling me that you don't shave your legs? That's gross, Lawrence.
LAWRENCE: But you didn't notice, did you?
JEROME: Well, no.
LAWRENCE: I haven't shaved my legs in three weeks, and get this , no one noticed. So this is my point: why bother? I mean, shaving is some sort of cultural phenomena , our culture says that to have a pleasant outward appearance, women must shave. But if no one notices, then it's pointless.
JEROME: Good use of deductive reasoning.
[Pause. Lawrence starts breaking her sandwich into pieces.]
JEROME: What are you doing?
LAWRENCE: Making Communion wafers.
JEROME: What? Why?
LAWRENCE: When I was little I wanted to be a priest. I used to flatten all my bread and break it into little pieces, like this. [She breaks the bread into pieces, then holds it above her head, priest-like and solemn.] Then I would walk around the table and say, "This is the body of Christ." To which my parents would reply, "Amen."
Jerome: Your parents encouraged this?
LAWRENCE: Well, they put up with it. Then one of my teachers told me that women couldn't be priests. I was devastated.
JEROME: So what do you want to do now?
LAWRENCE: Well, after I was told that I couldn't go into the ministry, I wanted to be an astronomer for awhile. It sounds neat, you know. But I'd probably have to take math, don't you think?
JEROME: You probably would.
LAWRENCE: Then that's definitely out .... No, I really have no idea of what I'm going to do.
JEROME: Wow, I can hardly believe that. I mean, I know exactly what I'm going to do. Go to MIT and become an engineer.
LAWRENCE: What if you don't get in?
JEROME: Gosh, I don't know. I don't even want to think about it. I've wanted to be an engineer forever , since before I knew what to call it.
LAWRENCE: Why do you want to be an engineer?
JEROME: ... Well, um ... it's pretty neat, I guess ... uh ... you get to ... I don't know exactly why. I just do.
LAWRENCE: Uh-huh, want some Communion?
JEROME: No, thank you. I'm Jewish.
LAWRENCE: Well, that's interesting.
JEROME: OK, finally you find something interesting about me , my religion. I don't even practice.
LAWRENCE: You don't look Jewish. You look very Gentile. If you lived in fascist Germany, I bet you could have fooled the Nazis.
JEROME: That's certainly a comforting thought. I'm glad you brought it up.
LAWRENCE: Don't you ever think of those sorts of things? I always used to plan what I'd do in case of a volcano.
JEROME: What? There aren't even any mountains around here.
LAWRENCE: Still, it's good to be prepared. Like those people in Pompeii , they weren't prepared, and they died.
JEROME: Are you crazy?
LAWRENCE: It's possible. But the real question is, are you crazy?
LAWRENCE: See, that's why you are crazy. I acknowledge the possibility of insanity, therefore I am sane. You deny the possibility, so you're insane.
JEROME: Oh, God. [He falls backwards, lies on his back, and covers his face.] Oh, God.
LAWRENCE: He's hoping for divine intervention. n