It comes back little by little.
I’ll see something, hear something, smell something, taste something, and a little piece comes back to me.
Like last night Dimitri said “Don’t worry, this will only hurt a little bit.”
And I remembered him holding me.
Pressing me to his body as he sank fangs into my throat…I remembered getting dizzy, tired.
And then I remember warmth as him blood spread through my body.
I remembered the cold blackness of death.
And I wish I didn’t.

It was agony.
The burning fire in my throat.
My first hunt.
I got more blood on my clothes than in my mouth.

I have my own fledglings now.
Runaways.
They were dying anyway.
In a way I saved them, but in a way I also condemned them.
The female hates me.
She believes I’ve damned her soul.
Who knows, she may be right.

The boy, Alexander, he loves me.
He loved the night when he was alive, and he loves it even more so now.
I gave him what he always wanted.
I gave him the freedom of undeath.
I gave him the fetters of undeath.
But the way he sees it, I saved him from a world he hated and showed him one he could love.

The girl waits for dawn tonight.
She will allow herself to burn in repentance, so her soul may go to Heaven.
If she waits, if she changes her mind, she will learn that there is no Heaven, no Hell, and no God.
But demons, we do exist.
She is one.
And she hates herself for it.

I will watch her…atonement.
It will be my first lesson in who is not ready to love the night.