Hurricane

October 23, 2011
By StrangeJade PLATINUM, Relative Obscurity, California
StrangeJade PLATINUM, Relative Obscurity, California
36 articles 17 photos 391 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it." - Life of Pi


Toby Flescher is walking down the street.

There is a crack in the sidewalk. If he steps on it, his mother’s back will be broken, but that does not matter because she is dead.

So, say that he does step on it. Toby is not a superstitious man, and nothing will change.

There is a red convertible by the side of the road with the keys still in the ignition and the top down. If Toby decides to hop in and drive away, nobody will see him. If he walks past without doing anything, nobody will see him anyway.

He does nothing.

Toby Flescher is wearing the tie his girlfriend gave him for his birthday. She vacillated for several minutes in the department store between pale green and black. She decided at last on the latter, and this was lucky because it hides the blood so much better.

Toby is limping, and every step he takes on his left foot nearly sends him pitching into the gutter. The seam of his suit jacket is torn up the right side, and he could turn right into the tailor’s past which he is currently staggering, but nobody would be there to mend it.

As it is, nobody is anywhere, especially not to mend him. His tie hides the blood well. His girlfriend is dead.

Toby Flescher takes one more step and collapses into the gutter, his ribs shattering. Even if the life leaves him before this occurs, nobody, not even he, will hear the crack.

There are weeds growing in front of his ragged face where he lies. One of them is a dandelion.

If Toby uses his dying second to blow on it, the flower will shatter at his stale and bloody breath and drift far along the gutter. The force of the air from his lungs will keep going long after the seeds have been planted, and in four more months a hurricane will form off the coast of Florida, destroying hundreds of homes that will already be empty. If he chooses not to blow on the dandelion, it will not matter.
Will it?

Nobody is here.
Toby Flescher is dead.

If a man starts a hurricane, does anyone know?


The author's comments:
This is flash fiction, so it won't take long at all to read. It was written for, guess what, a flash fiction class! :) I'm a bit proud of it, I suppose.

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This article has 6 comments.


on Nov. 26 2011 at 4:42 pm
StrangeJade PLATINUM, Relative Obscurity, California
36 articles 17 photos 391 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it." - Life of Pi

Thank you! ^-^ Much appreciated.

on Nov. 26 2011 at 4:42 pm
StrangeJade PLATINUM, Relative Obscurity, California
36 articles 17 photos 391 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it." - Life of Pi

Yes, well, I'm not totally sure while he's bleeding, either. :| Gunshot wound? Zombie apocalypse? Up to you. :)

on Nov. 25 2011 at 7:39 pm
LifesIllusion BRONZE, Cicero, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't let your fears slow you down. Instead, chase them down and beat them."

Although this left me in utter confusion, I absolutely undoubtly LOVED it. I am not sure what made me like this story so much but just the dandelion and the hurricane is intense. But my favorite of all was the very last line! Awesome job. 5/5 stars

on Nov. 13 2011 at 6:13 pm
Jappyalldayeveryday, Detroit, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
They say that good things take time, but really great things happen in the blink of an eye

Intense! Lol, I'm kind of wondering why he's bleeding, but you might want to keep the reader wondering, idk. I love the whole hurricane/dandelion thing though, good job :)

on Nov. 9 2011 at 10:01 pm
StrangeJade PLATINUM, Relative Obscurity, California
36 articles 17 photos 391 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it." - Life of Pi

Thank you so much! ^-^ This genre (veryveryvery short fiction) is new to me, and I like it a lot. :)

on Oct. 31 2011 at 5:32 am
kingofwriters BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Books are a uniquely portable magic." - Stephen King

I love books, and I love technology, but I don't want to see the latter overwhelm the former. I just think books are meant to be pages you turn, not screens you scroll through.

I like this poem a lot! You used very good descriptive words and great writing techniques!

 

Keep up the good work! :)





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