September 26, 2009
[Note: Between every line, the camera cuts to a different person. Two people are not in the same shot at the same time unless otherwise specified. These shots alternate between WS, MS, and MCU, at the director's digression.]

RYAN: (steps up to frame)Ryan here, star of Action-Tastic 3: Revenge of the baby puncher; I'd like to assure you that no babies were harmed in the making of this film.

NATE: (Brandishing a baby doll) See? It's fake.

ELLY: Punching real babies is a crime.

LAURA: So we at Really Cheesy Productions would like to remind you:

ALL IN UNISON: Never ever punch a baby.

RYAN: Not even a gay baby!

LAURA: Especially not a gay baby!

ELLY: Gay babies are our future.

NATE: They have an evil plot to overthrow us all!

LAURA: That's not actually true.

RYAN: When you feel like directing your anger at a baby, take a deep breath and direct it at cute little animals instead.

NATE: Like this cat! (Nate is holding a cat)

[Cat is flung violently over LAURA and ELLY's horrified heads.]

ELLY: Um, no cats were harmed in the making of this feature?

LAURA:...yeah. It's gonna be okay, right?

[Technical Difficulty bars flash onto screen.]

Join the Discussion

This article has 66 comments. Post your own now!

musiclover123 said...
Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:06 pm
HAHAHAHA i SO agree with darkvisions EVEN THO IM A TWILIGHTER i LOVED LOVED LOVED your *movie* and this is ALSO PURE GENIOUS!!!!=)=)=)
forgottenpenname This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 25, 2010 at 4:32 pm
That was amazing! XD
SUPERMANDwightHoward replied...
May 31, 2010 at 9:18 pm
LOL NO WAIT ROFL NO WAIT DOF Died of laughter, My parents are suing
darkvisions said...
May 25, 2010 at 3:49 pm
aaaaaa after reading this, and your sooooo accurate remake of Twilight, I've totally confirmed it...you are a GENIUS!!! XD
XenonG said...
May 22, 2010 at 6:19 pm
BlueInk94 said...
May 13, 2010 at 5:13 pm
AshlanB said...
Apr. 30, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Idk, but I think you should probably be a script writer on SNL. Fo reeeeeelz.
Rowan This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 28, 2010 at 11:37 am
this is really funny. have you ever actually filmed these? do more, i love spoofs!
MarielAntoinette said...
Apr. 25, 2010 at 7:47 pm

YOOOUUUU are funny. Quick, taut, nice random flickhere-flickthere wordplay is what is UP.

Please put up more scripts. I know you have them.

thatclarinetgirl said...
Apr. 9, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Your really good at writing scripts. Keep writing!
Sarbear This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 31, 2010 at 7:46 pm
you do need your own show!! full of funny skits--lol. great job once again!!! lmao
mkgirl395 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 20, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Your name up in big lights... "The Lucy M. Show!"
Everyone laughing at your plays...
You've got it. Don't forget it.
JeanGrey said...
Mar. 10, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Oh that was just HILARIOUS! I deem you future comedic writer!
*takes out the "deem stick" and formally pokes you with it*
SpecialK said...
Mar. 6, 2010 at 2:39 pm
(Unable to post a decent comment because she is laughing to hard)
trestonsgirl said...
Feb. 23, 2010 at 7:37 pm
i read ur other article and loved it!!!!!! u r unbelievably hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!
iPrayForPeople said...
Feb. 23, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Very nice!!
AmnyR said...
Feb. 23, 2010 at 5:57 am
this is so unbeleivably funny!!! ha ha i thought it was hilarious!!!
RiotRave said...
Feb. 18, 2010 at 4:44 pm
OH MAN!! This is seriously hilarious!! I can picture the dude tossing the cat. Goodness... You MUST go into the film industry.
lily1411 said...
Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:31 pm
You are seriously going to become a comedy film writer when you're older! epic win:D
katie35 said...
Dec. 14, 2009 at 7:12 pm
gay babies will take over the world.... hahahaha great!
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