A dream not come true

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Anna drove her car white under the pollen and dirt home, trying not to cuss, trying not to cry. The speedometer read 57 as she passed a rectangular sign that read 45. The radio blared out, “I hate that stupid old pick up truck you never let me drive.” Anna’s once pretty face was contorted with emotion so that it appeared ugly as she sang along trying to say more by her volume. Despite all the distractions the tight feeling in her chest persisted and her mind wandered back to the disaster of a day. “Damn it,” her shrill voice shrieked, “I can’t take this.” This could refer to Anna’s stress over where her country was heading. Anna had a natural inclination to worry over everything so this morning when her dad chose to talk about dept, depression, declining morals, health care, war, bribery, well she took all the worries on her chest suffocating herself.
“Ahhh,” she slammed on the brakes and “s***” leaked out. She didn’t want to be cussing. She felt dirty, but excused herself. She had no self-control left. It had been spent trying not to cry or scream at Caitlin. So she let herself cuss only feeling worse for it, “Hell Caitlin you just like making drama. I swear…” her sentence was interrupted by sobs. Her throat seemed to close up. An iron hand clenched her throbbing heart; squeezing more from what she thought was emptied by Caitlin. Caitlin who would rather do homework or sleep or do anything rather than come over for a girl’s night. Catlin, who had ignored her, even when she had asked direct questions. Anna blinked away tears and tried to see the watery road, “Did she have to be so cruel?” Her voice was broken. “I freakin’ failed Math.” Ann had been so torn up and distracted over Catlin not speaking to her that she hadn’t been able to concentrate. “The only thing I am any good at. I hate my life.” She had panicked, forgotten the formulas and now she felt lost and small, so she drove faster trying to feel like something. But Catlin’s words, “You are annoying,” echoing in her head, made Anna feel more alone and worthless. She whipped the wheel to the left causing her book bag to sling off the seat and crash into the door.

Anna breathed her first sigh as she saw the house with no mini-van in the driveway. She felt guilty for wanting to be alone. Anna unlocked to door, dropped her book bag in the hallway, and turned on the TV. She rummaged through the old VHS’s till she found her favorite childhood princess movie. For the next hour and a half she lost herself. Sitting crisscross apple sauce she stuffed popcorn into her black-mascara tear streaked face. At the beginning she sniffled some as the day was still replaying in her mind. As the movie when on she forgot her pain. Her face looked like a lost child hoping to be found, with dark shinny eyes looking up so helpless. She watched tense and fascinated as the princess fell in love. Her eyes lit up and her mouth open slightly as she watched the first beautiful kiss. Anna whimpered and hugged a pillow tightly as the evil man kidnapped the princess. As the princess married her prince Anna’s chest expanded by a deep breath held so long. She couldn’t help but grin stupidly.
The movie ended restoring Anna’s dearest hope, true love. Her heart was filled with the belief that one day she would meet the one for her, fall in love, and be married. She would have her happily ever after and none of these silly problems would matter. This was the hope that kept her going when all her little hopes for her life were crushed. This was the hope that she kept deep within her soul and never let anyone know. It was a bubble protecting her from the world. This hope had kept her from despair when Tyler had asked Ashley out instead of her. She told herself that there was one guy out there waiting for her. This hope never got crushed as long as she didn’t tell herself that she loved a guy. If she ever said that she loved someone then her dream could be broken if he didn’t love her or if he ever stopped loving her. Neither could the dream be broken by time, because he would always be waiting for her, she just never would have found him yet. So this hope was protected so long as she never gave it a chance to come true. Anna subsisted off a dream that she made impossible.





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DramaLove said...
Jul. 9, 2009 at 2:21 am
I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!! It feels so true in life. Very Very good job. Wish I could write like that. Keep on writing. If you stop I will get you later. JK!
 
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