The Line Leader

February 13, 2017
By Skinchanger BRONZE, Lincoln, California
Skinchanger BRONZE, Lincoln, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Once there was a strong-willed little boy named Christian. He loved to lead and Paul always followed closely behind him. In elementary school, Christian yearned to be the line leader and Paul always requested to be second so he could be with his best friend. Their wishes usually were granted and when that happened they would march together with their chests puffed out and heads held high. Everyone would laugh at them, but they didn’t care. They were the line leader and the follower; that’s what mattered to them.This part of life soon ended, and a new design took its place.
Puberty. Christian always tried to lead the class, but the effects of his cracking voice wouldn’t allow that. Paul, however, was always quiet, humble, and untroubled about the effects of puberty. Finally, high school came around and Christian became captain of every single sports team that he played on. He also became class president. Paul was always watching from the sidelines so he could improve and be like Christian. With his friend by his side, Christian felt accomplished, but, he wanted more.. more leadership, more heroism.
After high school, Christian joined the army, and wherever Christian went, Paul followed. They trained hard and were exhausted every day. Then the peace in the country broke and instigated the military to train harder than before. Both of the new-found army men secretly hoped they wouldn’t have to go to battle. However, the time arrived for the boys to go into a massive battle. Christian marched firmly in front even though inside he was deathly afraid of what was going to happen. Paul just followed Christian and was only a little bit anxious about what was about to come. All of the soldiers made it to a base but they were going to leave for battle the next morning. All Christian dreamed about was what was going to happen and all the worst results. Paul had a dreamless sleep. In the morning the boys marched off to the battle. On the way there, they walked through a calming forest, but there were no animals to be seen; not even birds.
Out of the corner of Christian’s eye he saw movement. “ It’s an ambush!” he yelled. From the shadows of the forest emerged a battalion of men. “Get back to the base!” shouted the commander; no other sound from the commander was heard after that. Christian was already being shot at, but he bobbed and weaved out of danger. Paul, however, always followed Christian. He tried to dodge the bullets until one went straight through his shin. He couldn’t run or even walk. He was just a body on the ground and was a goner for sure until Christian came over and pulled him onto his shoulders. Christian ran as fast as he could with his best friend on his back, but the enemy was right on their tail. Christian made it to the base, but the doors weren’t opening fast enough. Christian decided that he would keep his friend alive no matter the cost. Christian then stood in front of his best friend. One bullet, two bullets, three bullets, four bullets, five bullets.
The doors finally opened and they were dragged inside. The door closed; no one else from the forest survived. Christian was barely breathing and said one last thing to his best friend. “Now that I'm gonna be gone … you, you be the line leader.” The sun went down extinguishing Christian’s life and Paul’s hopes of growing old with his beloved friend. Christian died as a sacrifice for Paul. And Paul would never forget him and wrote a memorial for Christian. He even named his son Christian in hopes that one day his son would be as strong a leader as his cherished friend.

The author's comments:

I wrote this peice because I dearly love my friends. This short story is an interpretation of what I would do for my friends and, hopefully, what they would do for me.

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This article has 1 comment.

on Mar. 7 2017 at 8:06 pm
valkyrie1212 BRONZE, Adelaide, Other
2 articles 0 photos 34 comments
This is a very sweet story! The message that you embodied never gets old, and it was definitely present here. Here are some pointers: what would help this story improve is if you show, not tell. This story reads more like a recount rather than a story. Adding imagery and detail will give this more depth, paint a better picture in readers' heads, make readers feel more towards characters, etc. Eg, instead of: she walked out into the street and felt how cold it was, it could be something like: the biting wind whipped the scarf across her face as she stumbled out into the road. Frost nipped at her fingers as breath tumbled from her exhausted lungs. The wind howled through the air as she quickly hailed the taxi, afraid that she might get buried under the treacherous snow soon if she waited there any longer. What you can do is find some imagery exercises on the internet - this will definitely help you become a better writer. Other than that, I relly liked this :) you have good ideas there, and it is certainly a bit of a tear jerker :)


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