Opulence MAG

May 1, 2008
By AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.


I’ve been watching him for days now. When he leaves his house to go to school, I’m the one carefully tailing him, switching cars every day to make myself look less suspicious. If he ever sneaks out of his second-story room, I’ll be the one silently watching from a nearby tree. In class when he turns, feeling eyes on the back of his head, I’m the one who sent the hair on the back of his neck up on end. I am the girl whose shadow is always slightly overlapping his.

Being assigned to watch him almost makes me
feel like I’m not a stalker. Though I’m only 17, I’m a full-fledged member of the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. I’ve been with them since the ­tender age of five. It’s my home. Being an orphan, my office is also my permanent residence, the couch a fold-out bed. There are many others like me: no family. A lot of us are loners and haven’t chosen this route for ourselves.

I’m a tracker. I have been for years and some might say that I am the best at not being the best. In other words, I’m great at being invisible. Or at not being noticed. It’s not as hard as the others in the organization think. Being young and female is good, since most we track are young. Seeing me around younger people – my age, actually – doesn’t raise alarm bells. It helps that I’m cute. With a small frame, light hazel eyes, and short blond hair that curls under my chin, I don’t appear threatening. Of course, my ­organization-funded training doesn’t back that theory.

Soon I won’t be tracking down others with the power. They are finally going to give me an apprentice. After years of mastering everything I’ve been taught, they see my potential. That’s not to say I know everything. Even with my extended life I won’t be able to learn all the things I want to. If only this annoying boy would show the signs. It’s been almost a week. If he doesn’t show soon, they’ll reassign me. That much longer until I get my apprentice.

So here I am, sipping a latté and waiting for the Target to leave for school. I have been put in all of his classes in case something happens there, though I graduated high school years ago. Private tutors sped things up. With no family or personal ties, I had lots of time to devote to my studies. Martial arts black belts. Twelve languages, not including English. Everything a girl needs for a serious career in the agency. Such positions of power are not handed out easily. You must prove yourself many times over.

The Target and I have never spoken, but I know a lot about him. His file told me some, but after watching him for only a few days, I feel confident in saying that I know things no one else does. Not just the obvious, either. He resents his father and is protective of his mother, which makes me suspect the father is less than faithful. He smiles often but doesn’t make a lot of eye contact. He usually only speaks when spoken to. Although he has many friends, he isn’t close with any of them. The Target is observant, a watcher. This leads me to believe we would get along if he shows any promise.

I look down at my watch, then back at his house a few blocks away. The Target is late, which means I’ll be late too. Today my ride is a shiny black sports car, not out of place in this suburb full of midlife-crisis men. I turn on the engine impatiently. I’m fiddling with the radio when I hear something. I don’t feel any immediate danger, and I know to trust those feelings. But I ­also know that something is off.

Just as I am about to get out of the car and pretend to look in the trunk, the passenger door opens. I look up in surprise as the Target slides into the seat next to me. I grin, quite pleased by this turn of events. This is definitely a good sign. Perhaps intuition is strong in him. That would be good for my apprentice to have, complementary. I could handle having to deal with that.

“Hello, Lenna. Why have you been following me for a week now?” the Target asks lightly, conversationally, his first words ever said in my direction.

Ah, one of my many aliases. The organization set it up so that whenever I’m on a case, I get a new name, past, and present. It’s very powerful. The organization can basically do anything it needs; it has people everywhere imaginable. I’m just one of many, though there aren’t that many at the top, as I am. They don’t trust many to be trackers. Or to be apprentices. All of the full members have the power, though we control others to get things done.

My smile deepens as I say in my authoritative, professional voice, “My real name is Jade. I am a witch of the moon and a tracker for the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. You are also a witch. We would like to formally welcome you into the organization as my apprentice. Here is my card for verification.”

Jade Wordsworth
Tracker for O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E
Official Political Understanding Lending ­Everyone ­Navigation for Co-Existing Ethereals
Office hours: 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon-Sat
Phone: 555-5555
Proud league of witches of the sun and moon.
Worldwide.

“What do you mean ‘moon and sun’? Or ‘tracker’?” he asks, still looking at my card like it’s going to ­disappear.

“Types of magic. Moon is all about spells, the sun is more potion-based, though each type of witchcraft involves the other somehow. As a tracker, I find people like you and I bring them to O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. Every witch must register, train, and become a member by law. In fact, the organization is like a government targeted toward witches,” I explain with a smile, loving the fact that this time I get to teach the newbie.

“Magic? Seriously?” he asks, eyes wide, meeting mine. They are large, yellow, and catlike.

I click a button on my left, automatically locking the doors. I put the car into drive, pulling out onto the road. As an afterthought I add as a courtesy, “I think you had better come with me.” .



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This article has 875 comments.


kamkit BRONZE said...
on Jul. 3 2013 at 5:32 pm
kamkit BRONZE, Ventura, California
4 articles 1 photo 22 comments
I really enjoyed the development in this story and how the plot flows. There are a few twists and turns, but the confusion helps the story rather than hinders it. I was surprised when what I thought was a secret-agent spy society thing ended up being magically-oriented, but it was well introduced and I liked it. :) I like you character development for Jade, although in this short piece I only see one part of her- self-confident, resourceful and “authoritative” as you put it. If you do plan to extend this story (which you should!) try to incorporate some of the less-pronounced features that she may have. Also, I think that there should be a longer buildup before Jade tells the Target about the witch agency. My initial reaction would be to get out of the car haha. Just a thought. This was very great to read! I loved the ending especially- an explanation as an afterthought. :)

CassieGirl said...
on May. 21 2013 at 12:18 pm
Beautifully written - a wonderful start to a longer story, please!

on Apr. 26 2013 at 2:36 pm
Luckytheinvisiblefloatingwalrus SILVER, Wyoming, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Lucky the invisible floating walrus once caught an awful virus from a piece of bubblegum but he was not dumb so he ran away to play all day away from evil clappers but then again (dun dun dun) lucky couldbe a kidnapper!!!

i thought this was a very well written story! great job! wonderful details and not too long!

holly1999 GOLD said...
on Mar. 20 2013 at 5:59 pm
holly1999 GOLD, Middlesbrough, Other
12 articles 8 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
'There was no need to clarify my finger snap, the implication was clear in the snap itself' - Magnus Bane

love it! :)

on Mar. 18 2013 at 8:22 pm
indiankpoplover BRONZE, South Riding, Virginia
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Really nice. It was like one of those Ally Carter books. I loved it.

on Mar. 4 2013 at 6:08 pm
CurlyGirl17 SILVER, Corydon, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 95 comments
That was super great! I recently submitted the first chapter of my story and am waiting for it to be approved. When it goes online, feel free to check it out and comment! I'd love some advice from you, especially when it comes to describing characters and setting! :)

on Jan. 30 2013 at 8:57 am
mustache BRONZE, Hangzhou, Other
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
That first paragraph sucked me in instantly!  The plot develops well and it's great how the background comes in gradually instead of all at once - it kept me wanting to read more! However, I do think the magic element entered the story a bit abruptly and with no true purpose.  It was great without the supernatural component. All in all, though, definitely a good story.  Loved how you named it O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E.

on Jan. 14 2013 at 12:04 pm
violethawkthorne BRONZE, Fort Worth, Texas
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
I really liked this. You're a good writer.

on Jan. 5 2013 at 1:53 pm
In_Love_with_Writing GOLD, Easton, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 389 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

I liked the beginning a lot, but towards the end, I lost interest. It was still good, though. And check out some of my stories! Please rate them, subscribe, or comment if you can. It really means a lot and brings a smile to my face each time. Thank you so much!

on Dec. 23 2012 at 9:17 pm
BloglessBlogger GOLD, Somerset, California
10 articles 1 photo 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't let the fear of striking out keep keep you from playing the game."

Please continue, this has the makings to be a book.

on Nov. 27 2012 at 3:09 pm
FearlessAngel GOLD, Bellevue, Nebraska
10 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Pain is just a simple compromise, so we can get what we want out of it."
~Paramore

I really hope you continue this! I didn't want to stop reading.

Setizia GOLD said...
on Nov. 26 2012 at 6:09 pm
Setizia GOLD, Darnestown, Maryland
13 articles 5 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
The purpose of life is to search eternally for the purpose of life

A well-developed world, well-developed story, awesome characters. And great ending!

djreader said...
on Nov. 5 2012 at 5:55 pm
love this story, but i sort of need a setting for my english class, please write more!!!!!!!!

on Nov. 3 2012 at 3:19 pm
amelia.estaire SILVER, Osceola, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I take real people and put them in extraordinary situations." - Robert Cormier

the ending was suprising! but I enjoyed this story very much.

Benkudz said...
on Oct. 25 2012 at 8:51 pm
Benkudz, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Time you enjoy wasting is not time wasted" -John Lennon

I really thought the article was well written. The idea of the agency called Opulence was brilliant.  I think that writing is difficult and I think this writer makes it look easy. 

on Sep. 14 2012 at 8:21 am
MrPuffin BRONZE, Park City, Utah
3 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow...”
(By LCP)

"Promise me you'll always remember: You are braver then you believe, stronger then you seem, and smarter then you think."
(Christiphor Robin to Pooh)

I love it!  I rated it 5 stars!

on Sep. 14 2012 at 8:19 am
MrPuffin BRONZE, Park City, Utah
3 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow...”
(By LCP)

"Promise me you'll always remember: You are braver then you believe, stronger then you seem, and smarter then you think."
(Christiphor Robin to Pooh)

If you like magic, try the novel "Demoness." :-)

on Sep. 14 2012 at 8:17 am
MrPuffin BRONZE, Park City, Utah
3 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow...”
(By LCP)

"Promise me you'll always remember: You are braver then you believe, stronger then you seem, and smarter then you think."
(Christiphor Robin to Pooh)

I agree with iTide. This story  is excellent!  Oh, and please consider looking at the work I share with epiclyawesome.  Search "Demoness."

on Sep. 6 2012 at 2:55 pm
HollyKatTeenInk BRONZE, Newbury, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind,” (Dr. Seuss).

Great story, amazing!

Prose said...
on Aug. 20 2012 at 1:23 pm
Prose, Buffalo, New York
0 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"Shoot for the moon; even if you miss you\'ll land among the stars.\"

Unexspected ending!




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