Enter the trickster

February 21, 2011
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I am called Loki, I currently reside in the place that you mortals call Asgard, and a week ago I had a rather violent squabble with my blood brother, Thor. This tiny but fateful squabble resulted in my other blood brother, Odin, sending me down to Midgard, Earth, to check up on the rather large amount of magical energy emanating from a small town called Waterford, Maine. I was told that the bulk of the magic was coming from a 13 Elm street... The first thing I did was to change myself into the shape of a spider and enter the house through a window, unfortunately for me it was the bathroom window and judging by the loud singing emitting from the shower and the fact that, as far as I know showers rarely sing without assistance, I had interrupted someone. Using my usual quick intelligence (here the girl muttered something which can’t be printed here due to the facts that it was extremely rude and in what appeared to be ancient Norse.) I concealed myself upside down in a corner of the celling over the sink. The singing stopped and I squeezed my eyes shut as I heard the unmistakeable sound of someone getting dressed. After about five or so minutes I somehow worked up the nerve to open my eyes and the flood of magical power practically blinded me* it appeared to be focused in the amulet around her neck. I ignored it and focused on the girl, it was then that I realized my mistake, I had been so taken by surprise by the intensity of the amulets power, for it couldn’t have come from the girl, after all she was a mortal, that my disguise had slipped! I was now visible to even
mortal eyes as the humanoid I am. I realized a split second afterwards that, owing to the fact that I normally couldn’t hang upside down over sinks, I was going to fall. I fell. Painfully. When, some minutes later I regained consciousness I saw the girl watching me with a kind of amused contempt. Now this I could NOT stand so I got slowly and painfully to my feet and intoned, in the most awe inspiring voice that I could muster this speech “Behold! I am the greatest of the frost giants, the blood brother to Thor and Odin themselves, the Loki who for centuries was venerated by the Norse tribes! Now if you value your life hand over to me the magical amulet around your neck, for if you do not I shall bring down upon you such a doom as was never felt before!” The girl seemed unimpressed so I lunged for the amulet intending to seize it and get it back to Asgard as soon as possible. Big mistake. Due to the fact that I had been operating under the assumption that the girl could not use the power in the amulet I was completely astonished when I was hit in the chest by a bolt of energy and flung head over heels into the bathtub. I lost consciousness for the second time in as many minutes.
I had led a fairly normal life until the incident just described, so I cannot really be blamed for reacting violently when I found a strange man attempting to hang upside down over the bathroom sink, and you can imagine my consternation when I discovered that I seemed to have magic powers! Luckily for me I did not realize the full significance of what had just happened, if I had I probably would have been rendered immobile due to shock, as it was I merely sat down for a few minutes, resolved not to think about it to much, and tied up the now slightly more awake strange man and hid him in the basement. It was lucky that I had been able to hide him before my parents came home, I don’t think that they would have reacted favorably to finding a strange man in the bathtub. “Hello Amy, we’re home!” my mom called “Have you done your homework?” Thinking quickly I came up with a reply, “Yeah, it’s done, I’m going down to the basement to read a bit, please don’t bother me.” and with those words I disappeared down into the basement.
When I woke up I was in a dark and slightly musty closet. The only source of light was from the crack under the door but even with that I could see enough to tell that I was in big trouble. My hands and feet had been bound tightly with cord and, indignity of indignities, a gag had been tied around my mouth. I tried to summon up the energy to shape shift but I didn’t have enough energy. I probably would have continued languishing in my musty prison if I hadn’t heard footsteps rapidly coming closer and then heard the sharp sound of a bolt being pushed back. A second later I was practically blinded by the flood of light coming through the opened doorway. This was not good, I had promised Odin that I would be back at Asgard by noon with whatever magical artifact I had picked up and judging by the light coming in through the door, it was well past that. I immediately understood exactly how much trouble I was in. By now both Thor and Odin would be seething, they would probably assume that I had stolen whatever magical artifact and split, actually, if it wasn’t for this pesky mortal, that probably was what I would have done. Hmm? Is that footsteps I hear? “Well?” The red haired girl who had just descended the basement stairs asked in that infuriatingly smug ton, “Have you decided to explain why you were in my bathroom?”
As I descended the precarious steps I hoped that my tension was well concealed, the strange man who had appeared in my house had unsettled me more than I’d care to admit, however I was even more unsettled by the strange powers I had used to slam him into the bathtub. I was also beginning to have a feeling that my mom would not be happy if she found out about this. “Well?” I said, pleased that my voice was not shaking, “Have you decided to explain why you were in my bathroom?” The stranger made a odd strangled noise, oh, oops, I guess I forgot about the gag. I walked over and untied his mouth. The man promptly began swearing in an astonishing variety of languages, most of which sounded like unintelligible gibberish to me but I could get the general idea. “Quiet” I said and kicked him sharply in the shins, the man scowled but shut up pretty quick. “Right,” I said, “Who are you and why are you here?” the man looked pretty rattled by my bellowing but by the way he was biting his lips together seemed to mean he wasn’t talking. Time for some more extreme methods. I pulled a unnoticeable string hanging from the celling which caused a secret wall compartment to open. I sorted through the items that had accumulated there, a ball of string, matches, a codebook, a compass ,and a case of lock picks and finally found what I was looking for, a wicked looking dagger with a mottled green handle and a blade which was serrated on one side and smooth on the other. I had pilfered this blade on a field trip to Iceland, I hadn’t meant to, it just seemed to slip into my pocket along with a ornate brass compass and a small necklace, the one that the strange man I now held captive had tried to steal. I held the blade to the mans neck, its fine point barely touching his adams apple, “Ok,” I said in the most dangerous tone possible, “You had better start explaining beforeI get fidgety.” The mans face had turned a rather odd color, a mix between green and grey, and it was obvious he could barely find the courage to speak, “What do you want to know?” he croaked. “Well I suppose your name would be a good start”, I said, The man gulped and then somehow managed to say “I am Loki”

If there’s one thing I really hate, it’s knife wielding strangers, particularly if the knife their wielding is resting on your throat. When the girl asked me to explain myself I thought it best not to refuse. Though I knew that Thor would have my hide when I got back for revealing my name to a mortal, it was better than this girl having my hide now. Besides, my name probably wouldn’t mean anything to her, right? Well judging by the way her jaw dropped, wrong. She swiftly regained enough composure to speak “Why are you claiming to be the norse god of trickery and lies?” she asked. Well, she had guts, I’ll say that much, if she really knew enough about the name Loki to form a pretty accurate statement of who I was, she should be terrified at the prospect of having tied up one of the most ruthless norse gods, instead she was resolutely continuing with her questions. “Ok,” she
said, “if you really are Loki, who sent you?” I must admit, I knew I shouldn’t have answered her question, if I hadn’t none of this fiasco would have happened, but on the other hand, if I hadn’t I would probably be dead, or undergoing torture so I suppose I’m glad that I told her. “Since I am Loki, who do you think sent me?” “Well, I’d guess that would be Thor.” she replied. I was about to confirm her guess when the door leading from the basement directly to the yard, imploded. I’d guess that both of us were equally panicky when, kicking aside splinters and bits of doorframe, a large man, with blond hair and a incredibly large beard, otherwise known as Thor, walked into the room. This was obviously not the sort of scene he had expected, he probably thought he would see me, with the necklace, terrorizing an innocent girl. Instead he sees me, without the necklace, tied up and being terrorized by a not so innocent girl. I really can’t blame him for freezing up, which gave the girl just enough time to recover and to act.
My first thought when I saw the strange guy standing in what used to be our basement door was, Oh no, not again! That was two strange men whom I had encountered over the course of the day and this time I was determined not to be caught unaware. I grasped a tough length of rope, sheathed my knife, and sprung at who I surmised was Thor, he was carrying a hammer after all. In hind sight, trying to cut off his air flow and make him pass out was probably a stupid thing to do but that doesn’t matter, what matters was that as I soared through the air with my foot in the flying kick position I had learned at tae kwon do, I noticed Loki slowly worming his way free from his ropes and I knew that if I didn’t act now the whole situation could deteriorate. Luckily for me, Thor seemed more interested in attacking Loki than me and I somehow managed to slip a loop of the rope around his neck and start to pull. “Pas out would you!” I screamed, hoping to distract him, Thor, as though only just noticing I was there, reached up and, seemingly effortlessly, plucked me from his back no matter how much I struggled. “Let go of me Thor.” I said, trying to maintain the ice cold tone I had used with Loki. Thor looked surprised, then enraged, “How much did he tell you?” He said, and believe me, His was not the sort of voice you argue with, especially if the owner of the voice is dangling you about five feet off the floor by your collar. “He told me his name,” I croaked “Nothing else, I just guessed yours.” “His name,” Thor muttered, “Aye but his name would be enough.” With and angry growl Thor set me down and grabbed Loki by the front of his shirt, lifting him so his feet barely brushed the ground. “I told you not to tell the mortals anything if you were caught!” He roared and I mean roared! He sounded like some primeval jungle beast from my dad’s dinosaur documentaries. Loki may have been a thief and untrustworthy but I didn’t want him to get hurt, so I did one of the bravest, and stupidest things I could do at the moment. I walked up to Thor, tapped him on the leg and said “It’s not his fault.” “Huh?” Thor obviously didn’t get what I was talking about “It’s not his fault, I was threatening him with a knife.” Thor’s jaw dropped, probably at the audacity of this girl, about as high as his waist, telling him he was in the wrong. Loki, if anything, looked even more shocked than Thor. Thor looked at me with an expression of deep annoyance, and for a second I was worried that he would throw his hammer at me or something but then he sighed, and making an admirable effort to control himself he set Loki down and turned to face me. “Look little girl, I know this is very confusing for you but please don’t meddle in things you don’t understand.” I was about to balk at being called “Little girl” but I realized that, compared to him, I was little. “Actually, I think I do understand.” I said, “Unless I am much mistaken you are Thor, the Norse thunder god, that guy over there is Loki, the trickster frost giant, and you are both acting on Odin’s orders. You want my necklace, don’t you?” Thor frowned, probably annoyed that I had guessed so much. “You have guessed right,” he growled, “Both Loki and I have come for your necklace. It appears to have great magical powers.” “I’ll say!” Loki interjected, “She slammed me with a bolt of magic from it!” Thor’s eyes widened,“She can control the magic?”

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Hawthorn said...
Mar. 20, 2011 at 5:30 pm
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