The Chauffeur

November 24, 2010
By , lakeland, FL
“Drive, man! Drive!” I hollered. It's one thing to get caught by the security at a museum, or a bank. Or the police during a high speed chase, if you are the one driving. However if you aren't, if you are letting someone else drive for reasons you are not yet sure of, and he's just so freaking slow on pushing down the pedal, well then you have problem don't you?

“Oh God, sorry.” Said Brian, “It's just not...going...” He panicked. Sweat trickled from his fingers and onto the steering wheel. His foot pressed against the pedal but nothing happened. He tried again. Same result.

“The gear! Change it! Dammit! The Gear!” I wouldn't be surprised if I popped a vein there and then. I could tell my eyes were nearly popping out of my head. I felt like if I yelled any louder my voice box would explode.

“Right!” Brian said. Swallowing back his panic he pulled the gear into place. The car lurched forward and slammed into the mini van in front of us. “Oops...” I heard Brian mutter. He pulled the car back.

“Freaking forget it,” I cried, “just drive!” My words were having no effect however. He probably would have kept attempting to exit the French museum without breaking any other laws, if not for my savior, the security dude with a gun.

“Agh!” Brian stepped on it and drove like the devil was chasing him. Past Rue de... whatever. And into an old Metro station. I really don't remember much. Adrenalin does that to you. I just remember landing on the safety of the rails.

“Get out!” I barked, “Quick!” This time, fortunately, Brian asked no questions. He just got out of the car. When he saw me get out, though, he froze.

“Oh my goodness... What did you steal?” he gasp. Staring at the wool and silk tapestry folded across my arms. I managed a weak grin. “À Mon Seul Désir, My only desire...”


I smiled again. “A thief never reveals his secrets.” I grabbed his hand. “Now, we get out of this rail in thirty seconds, or we become road–eh–rail kill.” We scrambled up the side, and watched as a train came out of the tunnel and flattened the car into a pancake.

“Promise me something?” Brian said as the debris settled.


“Never let me be chauffeur...ever again.”

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