How I Used My Head (Or Not)

March 16, 2010
By , La Mirada, CA
How would you feel waking up one day alright, then the next knowing everything was different? Perhaps you’re thinking that I’m speaking of something every day such as moving or something like that. Let’s just say that I never had that. I grew up in an ordinary home thinking I was ordinary. Guess no because when I was twelve I ended up burning the house down. Want to guess how? No I didn’t have matches, a fireplace, or even two stones on hand. I just had the idea that I wanted my house on fire and guess what I wake up an hour later being picked up by my dad as we run out of the house that’s burning down.

When I was 14 I imagined one of the most impossible things, I imagined that we got snow in San Diego one of the beach capitals in California. Guess what, the next day everyone here was freaking out thinking it was the end of the world because of it. The freeways were covered, beaches covered, schools covered. I guess whenever those people said use your imagination to your full capability they weren’t expecting this. Now I wonder how people don’t start suspecting but then again they did. They suspected the government; they suspected religious followers, global warming, etc. Who would suspect a 14 year old in high school with an overactive imagination?

Then I got curious if it was actually me doing all this in the area. So I did one of the dumbest things in my life. I imagined that my name would continue to pop up in the cutest boy in my high schools head. Worked out for me but we broke up when he graduated. So what, I like seniors better than freshman and he was on the football team and had a great body. So I ended up going in and about, imagining my grades up, imagining I had all the coolest clothes, imagining my little sister had everything she wanted. Look I wanted a little sister and as long as she was happy I was happy, I didn’t care if I needed to get her a pink limo to make that possible.

That’s when everything went downhill. Apparently I couldn’t make up a easy little, legal driver’s license for the person I imagined up driving. Or perhaps I didn’t imagine they could speak like those coach people holding Cinderella’s pumpkin coach open. Whatever it is we were driven home by a cop, in the limo we all didn’t fit in the police car and dropped off. The party was still great and everyone had fun with the waterslide I “ordered” for the party. Along with the full catering party with a soda fountain, it had come out of nowhere but was pretty fun to splash with.

The problem had begun however because I had only imagined my pink limo plus driver for one night. The media was all over it when a jailed driver and pink limo car ended up missing by the morning from the state jail. The next suspects were me and my family. Everything went fine until a picky officer asked how we afforded to pay to rent Disneyland for the day and the after party living with my parent’s income. That was a pretty awkward moment for my parent since they hadn’t wondered how they came up with all of it in the first place. Their first answer unfortunately was me; I had planned and had taken care of everything including the missing pink limo driver.

For a few days they held me in jail despite my parent’s arguments. They were looking for identity fraud, Credit fraud, anything that was foul play and couldn’t find any dirt on me or how I got the money. Just when I thought they were home free I found out they had gotten a warrant to check my house. There they found about two thousand dollars in bills that I had “saved” for whatever I needed right away. So I was stuck in the jail house for a pretty long time, would you count a 10 year sentence unless they find evidence I’m innocent as counting. So I would be at Juvenile for 3 years and regular prison for 7. Problem was that I was pretty sure this would affect my chances of getting into the Ivy League with my perfect GPA and test scores. At the moment I wondered why I just didn’t imagine that entire situation being a dream and waking up before I screwed everything up. Too late I suppose and I really don’t feel at the moment of being a time traveler. So I imagined up myself a copy of the guards lock and let myself out of my single person cell. I also imagined that the guard that was sleeping smelled like loads of bacon and the dogs weren’t a problem. The cameras were also facing “unknown” power outages.

So I was planning on going home, changing, and getting a bite at the local IHOP. However I forgot to take care of the other guards close by and without me knowing they had snuck up close behind me and followed me t the rooftop of the building. I thought it was a bit obvious to walk through the front doors wearing orange. So when I finally noticed all of them what do I see, about 18 guys blocking my way back, a helicopter at my back with a speakerphone yelling at me to go on the ground and put my hands up. Of course being the only one to escape during this entire accidental measure most probably would add let’s say…about a life sentence for me. I turned my back to the guards imagining they forgot to load their guns, their stun guns weren’t charged, and they left all their batons on ground level. If you didn’t guess they were shocked then you aren’t seeing it like I’m saying it. They just spoofed out of their hands like smoke. I loved playing the Joker it felt so fun to be in control.

The next problem was getting off the building roof. I could take the helicopter but I didn’t know how to drive one and I’d have to knock out the guard in the helicopter with the driver. I couldn’t climb down without falling into the arms of probably the only guy datable in prison, which was a young guard about 10 years older than me. I wasn’t dating an arrested psycho killer for all I know he’ll stab me to get a cell of his own. That left one option popping up in my head since I thought about it, and it was probably my only option before I got pulled off the edge by the oncoming guards.

It was committing suicide by jumping off the building. Just kidding why would I want to kill myself? I still haven’t met Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom in person. So I did what any other over-imaginative kid like me would do. I threw myself off the balcony, jumped into the breezy air, spread my arms, and flew.





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