a female killer

October 16, 2009
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the war drums beat in my ear telling me it was time. i grabbed my sword and jogged to the front line.i could see the thousands of enemy soldiers on the other side of the valley.i raised my sword and cried. my fellow men did also.the enemy began to charge.i could feel their footsteps coming from long away.i prepared my shield and braced myself for the initial charge.their forses collided with ours with a bone shattering clang. a large man came at me with a mace in hand and heaved it at my head.i threw up my shield just in time to stop the fatal blow. strong as he was he was inexperienced and i shoved my sword into his mid section and he died in the dirt.i could see we were losing. i called "retreat!" but no one followed and soon the enemy soldiers were charging at our camp. i hid behind a cow skin tent a soldier popped out and i thrust my sword into his chest. he groaned then fell to his death. i looked around and saw no one then a cold pain went threw my chest. i looked down and saw the very tip of a sword. i could taste blood in my mouth. i cooughed and my sword and shield fell to the dirt.i wanted to see the man who killed me, see the man who brought about my downfall. he pulled the sword out as i fell to the ground. i looked up and it was a woman. i couldnt believe what i saw. i slowly faded into black as the female soldier walked off.

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Sydney(: said...
Mar. 23, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Hey, I like this! Your discription was good but you could have elaborted so much more! This piece can EASILY become amazing if you elaborate on your ideas and work on your structure. Keep writing!
And check out some of my **newer** pieces ! (: !
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