September 15, 2009
I wondered who she was. The girl sitting in the far side of the cafeteria. She seemed intent on her book, almost absentmindedly eating her sandwich.
"You don't want to be mixed with her." I jumped. I'd nearly forgotten that I was surrounded by a bunch of my friends.
But I was a guy. Guys did not show surprise--a look of calm or a slight movement, but nothing more. So I asked instead, "Why not?"
As casual as the question was, the group moved in closer, and the person who spoke, Ronnie, looked around before speaking.
"That's Annette Jones. I heard she got arrested for arson. They sent her to a psychotherapist."
"Yeah. Apparently it runs in the family," another guy said, who I forgot the name of. "Her cousin is big on gangs, signed to one of the major ones, but the police have no proof."
"Her parents were in jail just after she was born," added Ronnie. "I heard--"
"You heard what?" a voice asked behind them.
A tall senior was glaring at them, not caring if he was noticed by the teachers and aides.
Ronnie managed to squeak out, "N-nothing."
He snorted. "Like that's gonna fool me." He suddenly yanked the front of Ronnie's shirt to make them eye level. "Meet me by the mall on the other side of town. Don't bring anyone. And if you even think about going to the police, me and my buddies are going to take a long joy ride."

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This article has 11 comments. Post your own now!

Archangel1410 said...
Apr. 11, 2011 at 4:52 pm
I like it. Be pretty cool to see what happens next.
balls said...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 8:43 am
really good
Kilikilakia2012This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 22, 2010 at 12:00 am
I really liked this.. the very beginning i was a little iffy but at the end i liked it. I dont know what i didnt like about he beginning so im sorry i cant give any tips...
M.A.C. replied...
Jul. 22, 2010 at 5:56 am
No sweat. The beginning's a little dull.
Michalmdd said...
Nov. 3, 2009 at 9:04 am
Really, I don't think much can be improved. It was just a great, thrilling story. I definatly would like you to write a sequal to this. Very good. This is the type of thing I like to read.
dragonfan said...
Oct. 25, 2009 at 9:29 am
now this was cool. i wish you would of written more. i really want to find out what happens. once i started reading i couldn't stop.=) plz write more i really liked it!
M.A.C. replied...
Oct. 26, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Actually, this is something I made up randomly. I was in a different country at the time and wanted something English, so I went on, and just...wrote. I have to think of a plot for me to write more. :D
dragonfan replied...
Oct. 27, 2009 at 6:05 pm
really? Cool! Well its o if you dont write more,you are a great writer and i love all ur stories!
M.A.C. replied...
Oct. 29, 2009 at 3:12 pm
:D Appreciate it.
vucelichk said...
Oct. 23, 2009 at 10:32 am
I was entertained by this piece in many ways. First off this story topic is very common in our school. People judge people by their history instead of even getting to know them. I liked your use of dialuoge in this piece at the conversation about the girl at the lunch table. I was not really impressed by the ending. Maybe you should have extended this story and see what happened at the mall. I wonder what the joy ride is going to be? maybe in your next piece you could add that or just add to th... (more »)
M.A.C. replied...
Oct. 23, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Hey, thanks. I was actually beginning to wonder whether someone was going to comment. But anyway, that's pretty good advice. I don't know if I'll actually write another little segment, but it all depends on my mood. :D Do you think anything else can be improved?
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