How I Became A Butterfly

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On August 6, 1991, I began my journey as a potential butterfly. During my early “egg” years I was always unsure of everything; what I waned to do, where I wanted to go and basically anything else that had a choice involved. I was always the different one throughout my whole life; like a butterfly in a sea of moths. For example, if everyone else wanted vanilla I would most likely pick strawberry. In preschool, how ironic it was that I was put in the butterfly group. Since the beginning of my school days, I was labeled the quiet one, the one who is eager to please. If anybody needed something and I had it, I would let him or her have it just because that is the way I was raised. As an egg my future was still unpredictable I could take the road more traveled like my classmates and become a moth; or I could take the road less traveled and become a butterfly. As of my egg years, my future is still uncertain.


When I evolved into a caterpillar, I already knew I was different. Somehow, everybody else noticed it too, because they picked on me for it. Throughout the first grade, I was scared to raise my hand because the other kids called me a teacher’s pet, a suck up, a smarty-pants, and many other names I have chosen to forget. Until I was put in the Mentally Gifted (MG) class in second grade, I thought it was bad to be smart. For the most part, I was an outcast and a bookworm I did my work and played rope by myself at recess. In the second grade I met Jordan she became my best friend we did everything together; we would trade sandwiches at lunchtime and we even went to MG together. Halfway through the second grade we were placed in accelerated courses, which means you get to go to the third grade class for a couple of hours every day, we were so happy. In third grade, I had to move I never saw Jordan again. It hurt but when I got to my new school there was this girl named Candice she always helped me through rough times. She would tell the other people to leave me alone. We became the best of friends. Towards the end of fourth grade, she found a new group of friends and this separation pushed me into the shell I retained all the way through middle school.


In middle school my “cocoon” only grew thicker. In middle school, peer pressure was at its peak. Every other day somebody was trying to persuade you to do something like drugs, theft, or whatever it was they liked to do. These four years became my trial and error years. I did some dumb stuff to push my boundaries, I did not do any thing like drugs, but I missed my curfew a couple times just to see how far I could go without getting in trouble. During my fifth grade year, I was jumped repeatedly just because I did not want to give the other students the answers to my homework or my test. I was constantly put down and my self-esteem, what was left, was depleting quickly. I was pushed so far away I barely had any friends in school. In sixth grade, I met Dumar he was supposedly the coolest guy in school, we were cool and we chilled a few times this supposedly kept everybody from messing with me. Life was cool I could walk through the halls without getting jumped life could not get any better. Then Dumar was arrested and sent to juvenile hall and somebody new took over his position as the coolest person in school. The new guy was not really into chilling with people that were cool with his enemy so now I was back to being jumped on a daily basis. In fifth and sixth grade when life got rough I would take refuge in the after school program office or the nurses office. Therefore, when the new person took over I went back to my hiding spots. I thought I could hide there until I graduated, but unfortunately in seventh grade they turned the after school room into a room for the special education students. It was during these years I took more refuge in MG then I did any other years. I had friends, people who looked up to me, for an hour every Tuesday. I would read to the special education students and when they sat there and listened, I felt so proud of myself that is how I knew I really was growing.


When I started high school I knew it was to time to break free from my shell. In ninth grade, I realized that all the time I was growing up what my mom said was right. She always told me not to worry what everybody is saying; if they are talking, they are going to do it anyway and to let them waste their breath. I have always been told that I have a magnetic personality but in high school, I finally got to see it for myself. Slowly but surely, I found some friends. In ninth grade, I only had one friend and she was cool but I wanted more friends, so I went and got some but they were sheisty. I finally figured that the more friends I have the more of my business that is out in the streets. When I joined the Unique Imperial Perfections (U.I.P) drill team in ninth grade, I started chipping away at the shell that ensconced me. In tenth grade when I joined a dance group, the Green Dragons, another layer of my shell fell away. When I move through the halls now I will not walk with my head down, if you look closely you can see the pride that twinkles in my eye. In eleventh grade, I finally broke free of that last layer. I am now a full-grown butterfly and I am ready to migrate wherever the wind shall take me.





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Soul<3 said...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 9:06 am
This is a good essay and I like the comparisons :)
 
the spirit said...
Dec. 1, 2009 at 7:05 am
wwwoooowwww!!!!...u go gal...mek the world a beta ples!!...xoxo
 
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