April 3, 2008
By Jon Samuel, Palatine, IL

Procrastination’s eyes opened to see the sun early on Saturday morning. He momentarily considered rising out bed to begin the day, but immediately discarded the thought. Roughly three hours later, Procrastination finally got out of bed and slowly dragged himself down the hall and into the kitchen. He was about to go to the fridge to get something to eat when he decided he would eat later. Following this, he went back to his room and opened his backpack. He took out his schedule, and looked to see what his homework was for the weekend. He found he had nothing, but upon remembering he had been assigned a project, he looked back through his schedule. He found that two months ago, he had been assigned a twelve page history paper, which was due in two days. He immediately ran down the hall, turned on his computer, and ran into the kitchen. He grabbed a can of 7-UP from the fridge and walked back to his computer. He put down the unopened can next to the monitor, where it would sit untouched for the next two weeks, and waited for the computer to boot. Within a couple of minutes of beginning his paper, Procrastination began playing a game. He told himself he would finish the paper on Sunday. He continued to play on the computer until the early hours of the morning, telling himself he would get to sleep later. The next morning, Procrastination found that he had fallen asleep on the keyboard. He wandered around his house until nine that night, when he finally decided he had to work on his paper. He typed until four in the morning and finally came to the twelfth pager. He then remembered that he had put off saving his paper. As Procrastination reached down to the keyboard, the lights flickered and the power went out.

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