The Gap This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

November 14, 2010
The sun barely shines through the dense leaves; the old tree filled up as much space as the apartment buildings allowed. It grew as tall as the buildings and sat leisurely on a raised platform. There was a huge gap between its concrete walled planter and the road. As I sat on my bike I stared at the gap and paused, I thought to myself you can make it. My hands tightly gripped the handle bar; without another thought I raced down the street.

Gameboy, a popular gaming device, is the dream of any eight year old Chinese boy. However, I lived with my grandparents, and when it comes to the word “popular”, grandparents are not the most updated. With a limited allowance to buy snacks, I never had my hands on one of them. Instead, I had my modest collection of airsoft guns, roller blades, and my bike. Rather than sitting insipidly in front of a screen, I spent most of my childhood jumping over gaps with my bike and climbing outside the window of a ten story apartment. Yet, no “gap” was bigger than my move to America. It wasn’t anything but a casual phone call between my mom and me that decided my emigration.

My mom lived in Switzerland for as long as I can remember; when she decided to move to America she asked me to go with her. For me it was not a big deal except that I had to learn a new language and make entirely new friends. Though when the plane took off, the irreversible nature of the situation sneaked its way into my mind.

Growing up with four different homes, I experienced educational diversity. While my grandmother raised my social awareness, my grandfather showed me the importance of knowledge. However, when it came to my aunt, discipline was the most important. Although I discovered the cuisines of France through hours of television, I was introduced to a dramatically new culture for the first time during my trip to Europe at a young age. Not only was I able to taste the creamy and delicious Swiss Chocolate, but I also witnessed the exquisite Mona Lisa in Louvre. To me, these adventures have never meant anything but excitements and new possibilities, and that is exactly how I looked at America. The communication difficulties in a foreign country was a fair price to pay for the much less amount of homework I had to do in school.

Though I had to constantly struggle to understand my favorite cartoons on Cartoon Network I knew soon I’ll be reading books like The Art of War in English. I told myself to always keep an open mind. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t able to pronounce the word zucchini, because I know that I will say it right next time. Nor did I feel embarrassed for asking what a piece of cake meant, because I knew I would not learn otherwise. It never occurred to me that something is impossible; it was only a matter of time.

I am no longer afraid of difficulties. I know that the only thing of importance is to keep a positive outlook, and just like the day I jumped the gap with my bike, I will not be intimidated but instead to strive, with patience, for the best.

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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

CeaselessPrisoner said...
Nov. 27, 2010 at 6:02 pm

I think through some editing, this essay could turn out to be pretty good :)

First, your main problem is transition.  By making the first sentence completely unrelatable to the previous paragraph, you certainly do grab attention (which I believe is what you were going for) but it isn't really positive.  You could improve this technique by rearranging the order of sentences in the paragraph (because they seem to be almost backwards) or by removing the awkward parts (mentioning... (more »)

JoshuaL said...
Nov. 26, 2010 at 2:50 pm

I agree with the Admixo that there exists a lack of tasteful flow in the essay. When I read your introductory paragraph, I immediately became engrossed in the topic; excellent! Yet my interest dwindled towards the third paragraph when I lost sight of the entire message. This essay serves as a perfect example of a good idea gone awry. This needs work!



Admixo said...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 5:52 am
I have to say it doesn't flow well. The starting paragraph is interesting but  I couldn't find connections.  
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