Pahk the Cah in Hahvad Yahd

Yankees Suck! Only in Boston could you get 35,000 screaming Red Sox fans to start chanting Yankees suck when they’re playing a national league team who has absolutely no effect over the American League East or the long standing Red Sox/Yankees rivalry. Even better when you look up at that big green monster and see that the last place Toronto Blue Jays are beating those Yankee jerks by one run in the top of the first inning, and all the already drunk adult guys are cheering. You look at your buddy next to you and laugh because the baseball game has hardly started at that point.

But besides that, how about New York as a city? I would never live in New York over Boston, I don’t know who would ever sign their death certificate to live in a city like “New Yoork.” They’ve got the weirdest accents and one of the dirtiest cities in America. Everybody over exaggerates their o’s so that you can walk through Times Square and get a “Haout Dog.” You can say what you want about the Boston accent, granted our alphabet is only twenty-five letters long but at least we don’t sound “retahded.” Not to mention the size of the city, Boston has close to the same amount of people if you add a zero, who would want to live with the hustle and bustle of 6 million people who carry on their lives as miserable businessmen and woman who really wish they could be somewhere else?

When you really slow down and look around, what do you see? You see the businessman who makes too much money for him to be mature with talking loudly on the phone like everyone wants to hear his conversation. He probably drives a nice Mercedes with a gorgeous apartment that he can totally afford; only difference is that his mom probably comes over every Saturday to do his laundry. There is always the overweight cop that takes advantage of the thousands of doughnut shops and fast food restaurants. He’s paid ridiculous money to walk around and help lower the incredibly high crime rate in New York but you find at least 2 in every McDonalds or Dunkin Donuts you enter. You most definitely will see one of the 500,000 accountants and stock brokers that spend all day screaming at each other about not getting their Christmas bonus and who’s fault it is that America is billions of dollars in debt.
Then you have the 47 million people who flock to New York as tourists each and every year to see the same thing. Thousands and thousands of high rises and super skyscrapers; New York only has two really huge landmarks to see. What do you go to New York to see? You go to see the Statue of Liberty and Times Square; yes of course there is the Chrysler Building and the Empire State Building but nobody goes on vacation to look at buildings? In Boston however, there are plenty of cool things to see. Why not check out Faneuil Hall where you can pack yourself to the point of explosion with all the different kinds of food. Walk around the historic North End full of all those loving Italian guys that keep pushing food towards you and treat you like you’re their long lost son. You can even go to one of the many breweries and try some Samuel Adams.
Only in Boston would you have hundreds of skyscrapers shooting up into the sky and decorate the skyline, and as you walk through the streets there are a bunch of old historic buildings. It truly is a place of irony; history and contemporary buildings combined, and home of the Christian Science Center. Yeah, you read that right, the Christian Science Center. Science and religion, in the same building, working together to prove Christ’s existence; we don’t tell too many people about that one. Weird huh? These facts help to create the best atmosphere for a city though.

Compare the atmosphere of New York to Boston; at least in the city of Boston you can breath! There is basically one park in the entire city of New York, a park that’s riddled with crime and is completely unsafe to enter at night. Boston is riddled with parks from the Fenway’s and the Boston Common being known as the larger two where a total of 250,000 college kids run around and play ultimate Frisbee and football anywhere from one in the afternoon to one in the morning. You could never get away with that in New York! Boston is one gigantic playground for college kids who love to party and run around. The only thing you should be scared of in Boston is a campus cop putting a damper in your night for “excessive noise” or when your roommates engage in illegal activities. I would be more afraid of Paul Blart: Mall Cop if you asked me.

So forget the fact that the Yankees suck and are terrible, which they are. New York is just a city over packed with a bunch of stiffs and unlovable people. Only in Boston do you find a city with a playground for a bunch of college kids. We have a city packed of funny (and often drunk) sports fanatics, and ironic buildings and locations. So overall, just because we have only 25 letters in our alphabet, there is nothing that New York has over Boston.





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