Okay, let's think about this for a second: 11 Academy Awards (including best picture), record box office sales, and a 6' 2" heartthrob who weighs about 105 pounds. Now James Cameron does deserve credit for the recreation of the ship's enormity, but the hype should have stopped there. I am not quite sure what everyone else was watching, but I only saw an unrealistic and ridiculous soap opera taking place on perhaps the most impressive ship ever. Let us first examine the dazzling character of Rose. Her performance was as inconsistent as they come. She went from stubborn and unhappy to open and way-beyond content. Who else could have been responsible for her metamorphosis than the skinny "stud," Leo? I mean, how could anybody resist his painfully obvious fake charm? I wonder if he is reading his lines directly off a card. Oh, and I also enjoyed Rose's rebellion from her psychopathic, (but very rich) fianc" and her extremely materialistic and overly proper mother. I was fascinated as well by Jack and Rose's frolicking scene through the ship's engine room. Of course, the ship's owners would leave a dangerous area like that accessible to any of the thousands of passengers on board. Did you all know that Rose was a lumberjack and Jack happened to be the next Picasso? Another thing: liberal or not, no British 15-year-old of that era would have sex in the back of a car, whether on land or at sea. So despite its undeserving popularity, I would only recommend "Titanic" to middle-aged housewives who are starved for an against-the-odds love story. I believe we should all practice the motto of "the boat sank; get over it." .
This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.